Anxious Heart
by Wolfess-Sanu
Summary: Cloud Strife is sent back to his cadet days with his veteran abilities, but no memory of his future. What does this mean for him? For the entire Planet? Can you forge happiness from misery? SephxCloud. AngealxZack. RudexReno. TsengxGenesis.
1. Chapter 1

_**Anxious Heart**_

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><p><strong>Rating: <strong>Mature

**Pairings: **SephirothxCloud, AngealxZack, RudexReno GenesisxTseng

**Warnings: **Yaoi, Shonen Ai, Lemons, Time Traveling, Smut of varying degrees, Memory loss, Angst, Hojo and dark themes.

**Summary: **Cloud Strife is sent back to his cadet days with his veteran abilities, but no memory of his future. What does this mean for him? For the entire Planet? Can you forge happiness from misery? SephxCloud. AngealxZack. RudexReno. TsengxGenesis

**Author's Note: **Yes, this story is named after Nobuo Uematsu's "Anxious Heart", which can be heard playing in Nibelhiem in both the original game and Crisis Core. It's a beautiful and melancholy song, so I recommend going back to listen to it if you haven't for a while. Hope you enjoy the first chapter!

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><p>Chapter One<p>

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><p>The air underneath the ruined plate of the once powerful city of Midgar was heavy, silent, and suffocating, like walking through an abandoned cemetery on a humid night. The silence was why Cloud Strife returned here. The rest of the world was loud, always moving and very restless. This broken metropolis was forever stuck in a state of repose, much like the young man visiting here. The rumbling purr of Fenrir's engine was cut short by nimble gloved fingers flipping the keys in the ignition, glowing blue eyes rising from the motorcycle to appraise his surroundings. Everything was still and silent, save for an infrequent breeze that rustled Cloud's unruly blonde spikes.<p>

Mako eyes roved over the stillness and the youth dismounted his motorcycle, glancing to his left to the church that had once symbolized so much, but was now as empty as the rest of Midgar. Cloud's gaze flickered around once more, alert for sound and movement before he turned and pressed the release on Fenrir, grabbing First Tsurugi and sheathing it smoothly before closing the weapons compartment. The blonde hero finally faced the church, wind tugging on the black cloth of his outfit as the lithe man entered the ruined structure.

He had been trying to restore the church since it had such significance, but the more Cloud tried, the more problems that seemed to surface. The biggest slap to the face was the flowers, wilting under three feet of water when they had once been so lovingly tended to. The roof had been decrepit before, but now there was nothing to work with after Kadaj had used Lightning Materia to blast a way to escape from the building with Jenova's head.

Cloud walked across the uneven wooden planks, his heavy boots making a hollow noise that was quickly swallowed by the still air around him, until he was beside the pool of water, the flower's liquid tomb. He stared down at the soaked yellow petals below before his shining blue eyes sharpened, focusing on his own reflection rippling unsteadily on the water's surface. It had been a total of fifteen years since his hometown had become an inferno and burned to the ground. He had been sixteen then and was thirty one now. But… The spiky haired youth scowled at his reflection briefly before looking away. He looked no older then when he had defeated Sephiroth for the first time.

_Sephiroth…_

He hadn't come back even after promising he wouldn't become just a memory. Cloud lived day to day expecting his return, but as the months became years, the blonde had realized he wasn't just expecting the silver haired ex-General, but very nearly looking forward to it. Monotony had set in and refused to leave and Cloud was left behind to watch in confusion as his friends got married and aged without him. Vincent and Nanaki were the exceptions, with Nanaki being so because of his tribe's longevity.

The ex-Turk had speculated that he and Cloud were different because of prolonged exposure to the company of Hojo and when the spiky haired man asked Vincent if they would be allowed to die and join the Lifestream, the long haired Turk became quiet and spoke no more on the subject. The concept was just too real and horrible to consider, Cloud figured, at least for him. Death was looking more appealing everyday, but if he could not and was unable to join his friends in peace, then this life truly must be his Hell. Nothing ever happened and nothing ever changed.

Cloud turned his attention back to the water's surface and froze when his glowing eyes met warm emerald hues. Afraid to move at all and break that vision, the war hero remained absolutely still as Aerith moved closer to him in the reflection, smiling softly.

_Brooding again, Cloud?_

The spiky haired man tilted his head away from the reflection of his deceased friend, guilt tearing him up inside. Aerith sat down behind him, green eyes never losing their warmth.

_Hm?_

Cloud's blue eyes met hers in the water and he frowned softly, his pouting lips tilting downward. The brunette Ancient never lost her expectant smile. The youth sighed.

"Aerith… When I die, will the Lifestream reject me?" It made sense to ask that question, since he was attuned to the Planet and was visited by dearly departed friends as if there were no other way. When that smile crumpled, Cloud turned his eyes away from the water.

"Forget I asked…" Cloud murmured, wishing for that smile to return, one that he destroyed so easily, with just words. There was silence for a long moment.

_Cloud… Can you not be happy?_

Blue eyes met concerned green in confusion. Happy…? This was as close as he had gotten to being happy, he supposed…or had he ever experienced happiness? Cloud frowned and Aerith tilted her head, obviously waiting for his answer.

"I don't know." The blonde answered finally, in a defeated tone. There was more heavy silence and Cloud had to look at the water again to make sure that Aerith's spirit was still there. She looked torn between something, the expression making Cloud's chest ache.

_What Hojo did to you cannot be undone… However, there is always a price…_

Cloud tilted his head at her and frowned, confusion shining in his blue eyes. She smiled shakily at him.

_You can't join the Lifestream, but we can give you a chance to create a happier future. You've done so much for the Planet, it's the least we can do…is to try…_

"Aerith… I don't understand…" Cloud murmured, his eyes meeting hers in the water. She smiled fully this time and shimmered from existence, leaving the blonde to stare at his lone reflection.

Cloud glanced over his shoulder as if in paranoia to check to see if his friend was truly gone, wondering what she had meant. The blonde looked at the pool of water by his boots again, as if expecting Aerith to reappear only to be struck by such a strong wave of vertigo that he toppled forward, his body striking the green-tinged water and sinking. When he should have met the bottom but found himself sinking deeper, the glowing blue eyes opened and saw nothing but glittering green. It was then that the pain struck and Cloud Strife thrashed and screamed; his voice swallowed by the Lifestream as everything ceased to exist.

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><p>The barracks were quiet aside from the occasional snore or sigh from one of the many Shinra cadets sleeping in the long line of bunks. There were no windows to allow the mako ridden air inside and the air within was slightly stale. All was peaceful until one lithe figure jerked upright in his bunk, clutching at his neck as if being strangled, gasping in the stagnant air desperately. A few stirred in their rest, but none woke. Slowly, the fifteen year old allowed his hands to drop to his sides, but the labored tempo of his breathing continued.<p>

Cloud Strife was in a horrible amount of pain, but he didn't scream out of sheer will. Screaming never helped, he had learned so early in his life. There was also a deep seated sense of something being utterly wrong. Gasping, the blond tore the blankets from his fevered skin and he stood, sparing the clock a quick glance. It was two hours earlier than when he usually rose for morning drill.

The youth staggered through the rows of bunks to the back of the barracks where there was a communal shower and locker room for all of the cadets. He pushed the doors open and slipped in as quietly as his pain wracked body would allow. Cloud stumbled over to the sink and turned the water on, splashing bitterly cold water into his face. He lifted his head and froze in shock and fear.

Staring back at him was his reflection. His body was the same, lithe, small, and short. Same pale complexion that stubbornly refused to tan. On top of his head was the same light blond hair spiked in every which way no matter how much he tried to tame it. But what frightened him, shook him to the very core were his eyes.

They weren't the eyes he had yesterday. Those pale, azure orbs that shined from natural light that he had inherited from his mother. No, these were the eyes of a stranger.

Staring back at him were the eyes of a SOLDIER. Translucent, glowing emerald snaked from his black pupils to mix in with his natural blue color. They glowed fiercely with the power of the Lifestream, obvious in natural lighting, unmistakable in anything remotely dark. Cloud's grip tightened on the sink as he looked and looked at the strange eyes set into his face. He had dreamed about having eyes such as these one day. But not today! The day he had been dreaming of was after SOLIDER exams, after he had passed, after the many Mako injections needed to achieve his enhancements. One did not just wake up with the eyes of Shinra's most valued warriors! It was impossible, unless…

Frantically, the blond cadet began checking over his body for any indication of an injection site. He looked everywhere he physically could, but could not find any such wound. Cloud would have to go to the infirmary to get his entire body checked out. His thoughts screeched to a halt. No, he couldn't possibly. He would be Science Department fodder for sure. There were rumors of people mysteriously vanishing and everyone believed that Professor Hojo was behind it. It wasn't confirmed, but Shinra already experimented on living subjects. The SOLDIER were proof enough as it was.

Cloud's body burned with fever and he gasped as every muscle group suddenly spasmed, sending him crashing into the floor. He wanted to scream, shout, and cry in agony. He wanted to get help, but knew he couldn't. Cloud didn't know what was happening to him, but it was a pain that he had never known before. Surely this was what dying felt like? If so, he wanted it to be over with soon.

His wishes seemed to not reach the Planet as time drug on, his muscles contracting and tightening, his newly glowing eyes burning. Hot tears slid down his face as Cloud bore the pain, enduring it with only his seizing body and hyperventilating breaths to give the inner torture away.

The cadet didn't know how much time had passed. It felt like forever to him. But as swiftly as the pain started, it vanished. Cloud waited until his quickened breathing slowed to a normal tempo and then he lifted himself, surprisingly easily from the tiled floor to stand in front of the mirror once again.

His glowing eyes were drawn to his arms, blinking in shock. They were more defined, the muscles there were tightly corded. It was as if he had been working out and had reached his peak. Cloud lifted the hem of his white shirt and found that his stomach and chest were just as built as his arms. The muscle didn't look out of place or abnormal at all. His small body was just more compact and built. But it was downright frightening. It was just as unnatural as his eyes. Mako didn't build nor define muscle, but it seemed that some outside force had attacked his body until he was at his prime. This wasn't normal. He didn't want this.

How long had he been laying here? The cadet shoved his shirt down and left the locker room, his body moving with self assured steps. It was both scary and a little bit exhilarating. It was like he had attained new instincts as well. His body knew what to do even though his mind was in shambles. It brought little comfort but Cloud had so much more to worry about. He had to hide this.

The blond opened the trunk at the foot of his bunk and stealthily gathered up his military personnel uniform. He lowered the helmet over his head, grateful for the mandatory requirement to wear it. He then pulled on the top and the fatigues. Cloud paused and looked at the clock on his bed stand. He had been in the locker room for nearly two hours, so everyone else would be awakening in just a few minutes. He finished putting on his gear and sat on the edge of his bed.

His new circumstances…he had to hide it for as long as he could. He knew there was no way he could take the SOLDIER exam already enhanced. He also could not go back to Nibelhiem this way. The blond had promised that he would come back a SOLDIER, and even though he met those qualifications, he still hadn't made it in. He wanted to prove himself, he wanted that rank. It had been his dream to join Shinra and become strong, like his hero; Sephiroth.

But now… How could he possibly make it without being discovered? It was impossible. He needed a plan and quickly.

A shrill horn blared loudly throughout the barracks and many of the cadets jerked out of their restful sleep, the hall immediately filled with groans of complaint. Cloud rose to his feet, anxiety bubbling in his chest. How could he hide the confident way his body moved now? Sure, he could hide the brilliant shine in his eyes with the helmet, but these new instincts would be harder to suppress. He walked out of the barracks to the mess hall, trying to play down the way he was moving by sticking close to the walls and slowing his footsteps. It seemed to help because no other cadet or Shinra employee bothered to glance his way.

He grabbed a tray and waited in line with the other cadets to receive their breakfast. What constituted as food in the mess hall was questionable at best, but it kept them running through drills until another serving of the slop around noon. Cloud sat down at his table against the wall, shining blue eyes watching his peers move around the cafeteria and interact with each other. Everything now seemed to pale in comparison to his new 'problem'. Like how he ate alone, was bullied, and his classes… He probably could trash the trio that had previously made his life hell, but the blond definitely did not want to draw undue attention to himself.

Cloud ate his meal hastily and dropped his tray off at the sinks. His first class was Physical Evaluation. He needed to concentrate on being sub-par, on being as invisible as possible. Not very likely with Sergeant Hakes on his case. The short blond had been a favorite of the Sergeant, a constant example of what not to be when trying out for SOLDIER. Too short, too innocent, too naïve. Even his hair was brought up, though Cloud hadn't a clue of what that was supposed to prove. His hero, the General Sephiroth had very long silver hair and from what he heard, it didn't impede on the man's ability to fight at all.

The lithe teenager walked out of the mess hall and down a long hallway before exiting unto the training field. The Sergeant and a few other cadets were already lined up, so Cloud joined them. Even though it was early in the morning, it was still dark out and would remain so. The mako and light pollution blocked out the sun and cast Midgar in an eternal night state. It was ever darker underneath the plate. At least on top of the plate the air quality was slightly better. As the minutes passed, more cadets came spilling out of the mess hall and took their place in the lineup. Finally, Hakes looked up from his chart and placed on hand firmly on one hip.

"So, it seems all of you decided to drag your sorry asses out of bed this morning. On time, I might add. Be still my heart." The broad shouldered man stated, his voice thick with sarcasm. His brown eyes roved over the line and he paced forward, beginning to point out discrepancies in some of the cadet's uniforms.

"You, button the top button of your top. You are not a lazy Turk. You, wear that like a scarf, not a fucking towel hanging around your neck. You, tighten up your laces! This isn't acceptable. Wear your uniforms like President Shinra might grace you with an appearance!" He stopped at Cloud and securitized him critically. Normally, the blond would tense at this, but his body surprised him by staying completely calm. The Sergeant frowned and stared a little more before passing him by.

"Alright, children! You are going to run today, all period long. No complaints, you need to build up your stamina and by Ifrit, you will run until you drop, got it? Now, move!" Hakes yelled and the line broke as cadets dashed for the dirt track and began running. Cloud fell in line with those at the back, who were pacing themselves more wisely and because he usually was in the back. This wouldn't draw any attention from the Sergeant.

After about an hour at a steady, ground eating pace, the blond was marveling at how easily his body was taking the stress. Over half of the cadets had already dropped in exhaustion. Cloud wasn't even winded like those around him. It was thrilling to be able to keep up for once with the higher ranked cadets. He frowned behind his helmet. Was he already making a spectacle of himself? He would've already dropped by now. Half of him wanted to keep running, to feel the adrenaline and test his newly changed body. But he knew that he had to keep this a secret.

So he stopped and dropped to the ground alongside the track as if exhausted. Some cadets had gotten sick, but he couldn't fake that. His body was humming pleasantly from the work out, but ached for more. How long could Cloud run before he was truly tired? How much could this body take? The cadet sat there for a good fifteen minutes before he got up and trotted back to where the other cadets were standing. He glanced at the track, finding that only three others were still running, albeit unsteadily now.

Feeling eyes on him, Cloud glanced over and nearly froze. Sergeant Hakes was staring at him critically as if just seeing him for the first time. They stood there for countless moments just regarding the other before Hakes lowered his eyes and wrote something on the chart. That couldn't be good. Had he messed up already? But the brunet man didn't approach him, so Cloud relaxed a bit. Maybe he had run enough to make an impression but not to raise an alarm?

The remaining cadets stumbled into the group, panting for air and the Sergeant checked his watch.

"Only an hour and twenty. You boys still have forty minutes to run. Well…why aren't you still running?"

The answering groans made the Sergeant's mouth twist in consternation.

"Too tired…too weak, huh? Alright then, drop and give me two hundred!" He barked and the cadets scrambled to obey. All but Cloud it seemed was dismayed. The short blond only felt a deep calm and a blossoming feeling of power. He could do this, he just needed to pretend that he couldn't. While pushing his body up and down on the ground, Cloud kept an eye on the tempo and number of push ups that his peers were able to do so he could copy it. He didn't want to give Sergeant Hakes another reason to take note of any sudden improvements on his part. He dropped when the others dropped, even though his body still protested that he could do much more, push himself so much harder.

"Alright, now two hundred squats!"

More groaning.

"Stop your bitching! You could've just run today, but you quit so this is what you get instead." Hakes yelled and he paced alongside the cadets as they began the movements he wanted. Cloud again stopped when the others did. Sergeant Hakes had paused beside him. The blond turned his head and met that stare with his own, glad that the heavy tint in the visor hid the glow in his blue eyes. Silence stretched between them before the Sergeant shifted his weight.

"Alright then, that's enough." Hakes stated and the class made sounds of relief. His gaze settled on Cloud for a moment before he addressed the rest of the cadets.

"Go to your next class. Dismissed!" Relief consumed the blond and he left with the other cadets. Everyone hit the barracks showers except Cloud. He didn't want to bathe until he was certain everyone else was asleep. Taking off his helmet would be a deadly mistake. He was glad that everyone was too tired to notice his sudden change in habit. The teen walked alone to his next class, Battle Tactics. He sat in his usual place, in the back by the window.

When the class was full, the instructor began by opening up a text book and he started reading from it. Cloud tried to focus, but this class had to be the most boring of them all. Many of the cadets dozed off and the instructor didn't bother to wake them. The blond teen was still baffled that this man still had a job at Shinra when all he did was read from a book the whole period. It was a pointless class as hands on experience in missions were what they needed. Sure, in the beginning it had been mildly interesting to learn about when the body achieved it's limit and how many powerful moves could be performed at this stage. But afterwards, it was usually 'if Monster A uses the ability Slow, what would be the most effective way to counter this move?' Some of it was useful to know, but most of it was useless until one experienced it.

Cloud was glad when the class was over with and he went to the next class in line, Mako Sciences. This class was actually quite useful as their everyday lives were effected by mako and the chances of coming into contact with it were quite high. Especially those that aspired to be in SOLDIER. They learned about Mako Poisoning, how Mako reactors worked, how to deal with faulty equipment and how to handle the substance with care. The class didn't focus on the spiritual aspect of Mako because Shinra would rather teach their cadets practical things about the glowing liquid. But Cloud knew that Mako was the essence of the Lifestream. The terrorist group, Avalanche often preached the teachings of Cosmo Canyon near the train stations and the blond cadet would often stop and listen even though the speaker would give his uniform a dirty look.

The bell rang for lunch and many of the sleepy cadets jerked up from their seats and rushed out the door. Cloud sighed as he leafed through his textbook. There were no instances of people waking up enhanced. He closed the book and rose from his seat to head for lunch. Upon reaching the mess hall, the lithe teenager took a clean tray and received the normal slop that they called food. He sat down at his usual place and began eating. About halfway through, the blond was interrupted by three other cadets taking the seats adjacent to him. Cloud lifted his head and frowned at the trio.

Anderson, Felix and Mathers had taken it upon themselves to make the short cadet feel unwelcome. They were nothing but petty bullies. Much like the other children back in Nibelhiem, but these three were larger and more capable of doing damage. He had only been subject to a few beatings from these cadets and he had never reported them, not wanting to cause a stir among his peers.

**Stay calm. Don't let them get a rise out of you.**

Cloud froze in his seat. A voice…? It was inside his head… That couldn't be a good sign. He recognized one of the voices as his own, but it sounded slightly deeper and more mature. The other voice twined with his older sounding self was familiar, but the blond couldn't place it.

"Hey there, Strife. What was the deal with drills this morning? You finally hitting puberty or something?" Anderson questioned with a sneer. Cloud frowned, realizing that the last three that had been running and those that he had kept up with had been these jerks. What that had to do with puberty escaped the cadet, but the trio wasn't really keen with their insults.

"Yeah, you actually kept up with us. You been working out or something?" Mathers questioned, looking at Cloud's lower arms. The only exposed skin that revealed any changes. Cloud kept his silence.

"Hey, we're talking to you, porcupine. Mind sharing your secret?" Anderson asked, his voice lowering as his impatience rose. The blond didn't say anything, merely spooning up the slop and eating it. Anderson gritted his teeth and swiped his hand across the table, sending Cloud's tray careening unto the floor. The blond stayed calm like the voice instructed. It wasn't really hard. He was enhanced and saw no threat from these cadets. It was all so petty and childish, really.

"Answer us, Strife or you will be very sorry." Felix murmured. Felix rarely spoke as he was the brawn in their group. Cloud straightened and stood, gathering up his tray and walking past them.

"I have nothing to say to you." Cloud told them in an even tone and he disposed of his tray before leaving the mess hall, no doubt leaving the three infuriated. Environmental Studies and Arsenal Instruction went by without a hitch. It was when the blond cadet arrived at Materia Practice that he began to worry. What if his new enhancements extended to magic? Faking weakness had been particularly difficult in this new enhanced body.

The blond snapped his attention back to the Materia Instructor, Corporal Lykus who was currently pacing up and down the line. He held a glowing green orb and Cloud knew even before he said it that the magic inside was Fire. Judging by the dim way it glowed, it was only at the first level.

"Now have you got all that memorized? We're going to start with a basic Fire spell. Don't go catching yourselves on fire, hmm?"

Several nervous chuckles emitted from the line of cadets as everyone moved towards the metal case that had a few dozen of the glowing crystals inside. Cloud picked his up and walked over to a slightly singed practice dummy. He slipped the Fire into his iron armlet and then froze as his instincts screamed at him.

**You're seriously not thinking of casting that, are you?**

Check that, his instincts _and_ the voice in his head that had surfaced in lunch. He frowned at the Fire Materia.

_Who are you?_

Silence.

_Hello?_

Sighing, he eyed the glowing orb through the visor of his helmet. Taking it out of his slot, he held it and concentrated. It was warm and somehow _alive _in his gloved fist. Of course, it should feel like that because Materia was crystallized mako and mako was the Lifestream. But the magic almost felt… excited?

Alarmed, Cloud re-socketed the orb and then focused on the dummy, twisting the line of his mouth to make it appear that he was trying _really _hard to cast, but nothing was happening. Lykus passed him over in favor of helping a cadet five dummies down that had indeed succeeded in catching his uniform on fire.

Quickly, the lithe blond slipped the level one Fire into his pocket and grabbed another orb from the case before it was noticed. He slid it into the slot and frowned at the dummy, still posed as if he were trying to cast. Stealing from Shinra now? Well, he wasn't going to cast anything while here, so may as well try the spell elsewhere to see what he could do.

Glad that he was on the lee side of the surveillance camera, Cloud lowered his arm when the bell sounded. Three cadets had managed to burn themselves while the rest had managed a few sparks or a small flame.

"Well, just be glad that this is the last class of today. You three, go to the infirmary to get those burns treated. Dismissed!" Corporal Lykus called; collecting the Materia from everyone. Cloud returned the one in his iron armlet and walked off the training field. He pulled out his PHS and checked the time. It was six in the evening, so many of the cadets would be heading to the mess hall for dinner. The lithe fifteen year old wasn't feeling particularly hungry. He was more interested in pushing his body and perhaps casting Fire to see how the Materia reacted to him now that he was infused with Mako. Cloud returned to the running field that drills had taken place in that morning and he paused, letting his sharpened hearing take in his surroundings. It seemed to be clear at first and the youth was about to take off at a dead sprint to try to push his limit, but the sound of the door opening from the mess hall stopped him.

Anderson, Mathers and Felix strode across the distance separating them with dark expressions. Cloud froze in place. He knew that look. It was the precursor to a beating. How would he possibly get out of this?

**Don't fight back. It will be alright.**

Cloud frowned. He had always fought back the previous times. It seemed like he couldn't this time. The blond didn't want to be discovered and he had a feeling that he would hurt the other cadets severely if he did fight back.

There was no choice but to take it as quietly as he could.

"Hey, Strife. You ready to face the consequences for your attitude at lunch, hmm?" Anderson sneered. Felix rounded on the blond and took hold of him. Cloud tensed, suppressing the battle ready adrenaline coursing through his veins. He wanted to jerk his head back and smash Felix's mouth against his helmet. The mako inside him sang at the possibility of battle, but Cloud wouldn't fight back. He couldn't…

Anderson kicked him in the stomach, momentarily stealing the blond's breath. Cloud was able to close his eyes just in time when Mathers punched him in the mouth, his head jerking with the force, sending his helmet flying from his head. The blond kept his eyes closed tightly as the beating continued, punches and kicks raining down on his smaller frame. He felt his lip busting, blood running down his chin. One of his eyes were already swelling and his entire body ached. It felt like it would go on forever until…

"HEY!" The blows stopped coming and Cloud was released. He immediately dropped to the ground as Felix abandoned him in favor of running. There were a few curses as they tried to beat a hasty retreat, but Cloud heard the sound of a blade being drawn. The trio stopped running immediately. The blond uncurled himself from the fetal position he had adopted and started feeling the ground for his helmet. His fingers brushed it.

"Running away? Cowards. Tell me your names right now and I will see about your punishment." The unknown person demanded. There was a sound of feet snapping together as the three cadets saluted. Someone higher on the military food chain had caught them it seemed. Cloud took the helmet and secured it back in place before opening his swollen eyes and looking over.

"Cadet Mathers, sir!"

"Cadet Felix, sir!"

"Cadet Anderson, sir!"

The man standing in between them and the door to the mess hall had a SOLDIER 2nd Class uniform on. His sword was drawn and pointing menacingly at the trio. Raven hair spiked back from his head, while some unruly bangs framed his glowing mako blue eyes. His expression was thunderous. A surge of familiarity and fondness swept through Cloud. Why, though? He had never seen anyone higher than a 3rd Class SOLDIER before. The youth frowned and sheathed his sword before pulling out a PHS. He dialed swiftly and pressed the device to his ear.

"Reno, I have three cadets down here that I need you to escort to the cells. They were beating up another cadet. Sergeant Hakes will take care of the punishment, I just need you to take over while I check out the damage they did." The SOLDIER hummed and nodded, "down on the running track. See you."

The SOLDIER crossed his arms as he waited, glowing blue eyes moving over to Cloud.

"Hey, there. Can you stand up and come here?" The 2nd Class questioned. The blond rose to his feet and walked over to the older teenager. The other smiled gently, though his eyes were concerned.

"What's your name?" He asked. Cloud snapped into a salute.

"Cadet Cloud Strife, sir."

"At ease, Cloud. How are you feeling? Do you need to be taken to the infirmary?" Cloud shook his head quickly and the other teen frowned slightly. The door opened before the SOLDIER could ask more questions and a fiery headed man in a Turk uniform strolled out. At the sight of the uniform that only Turks wore, all three of Cloud's tormentors stiffened in fear. The Turk smirked at the SOLDIER before regarding the rigid forms of the three bullies.

"Well, then. Come with me, you upstarts. I'm sure Sergeant Hakes will love to hear your account of things, hmm?" Reno questioned with a devious expression. The cadets trailed after Reno, looking at each other nervously. Once the door closed, the SOLDIER turned towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"My name is Zack Fair, kiddo. You sure you don't want to go to the infirmary? You were taking quite a beating. Why didn't you fight back?" Zack asked, his compassion clear in those glowing eyes.

**Tell him everything.**

Cloud froze at the sound of the voice in his head and the other familiar voice clicked in his head. Why was SOLDIER 2nd Class Zack Fair speaking to him in his mind alongside his own, more mature voice? It was puzzling. He hadn't met the other before now, right? And to tell him everything…

"No, I don't want to go to the infirmary. And I wasn't fighting back because I would have hurt them." Cloud replied, deciding to listen to the voice. It was strange, but he trusted Zack. Even though they had just met. Zack withdrew his hand with a shocked expression.

"Hurt them? Cloud, you were outnumbered by three cadets that are bigger than you," Zack reasoned, wondering if this was a question of pride. The blond shook his head.

"No, I would've hurt them. Zack… Can you keep a secret?" The cadet questioned. Zack paused and then looked up at the polluted air of Midgar in consideration.

"It depends on what that secret entails. If it could hurt the President, the company, or my friends, I can't keep it." He replied. Cloud mulled this over. He wouldn't go out of his way to hurt any of those things listed.

"No, it could only hurt me if some individuals found it out." The blond replied. Zack returned his glowing eyes to Cloud and he nodded.

"In that case, I could keep it. You seem like a nice person, Cloud. You've already been bullied and beaten, I wouldn't want you to be hurt any further." Zack smiled. The lithe teenager paused.

"Promise you won't freak out?" Cloud asked. The ebony haired SOLDIER frowned.

"Just who would hurt you if they found this out?" He asked. The cadet hesitated for a moment.

"The science department. Namely, the scientist called Hojo." He answered truthfully. Zack had froze, eyes wide. Hojo was in charge of the SOLDIERs. The 2nd Class had a feeling of where this was going but he had to make sure.

"You made sure to put on your helmet even though you were hurt. Cloud, take it off." He requested and Cloud obeyed, lifting his gloved hands up to dislodge the helmet. Blond spikes fell free and Cloud lifted his swollen eyes to meet Zack's. His blue eyes were blazing even brighter than the 2nd Class's. Zack pressed a gloved hand to his mouth.

"Holy shit, Cloud… How did this happen?" The SOLDIER's eyes were wide as he took in the blond's face, battered from the beating, but those eyes…they could only be rivaled by Sephiroth's. Cloud shrugged.

"I don't know, Zack. I woke up this way." He answered. Zack stared at him skeptically.

"You woke up that way? You know that doesn't happen, Cloud. It's impossible. Do you have any instances of lost time? The science department might have already got a hold of you." Zack questioned. Cloud shook his head.

"No, I've always been aware. Ever since I came to Midgar. Last night I went to sleep as a regular cadet. This morning I woke up with these eyes and spent about two hours in pain as the mako did something to my body. I haven't been experimented on, I know it." Cloud answered. Zack hesitated and then sighed.

"Okay, that's even harder to believe. But…," Zack stared at his face some more, "I believe you. It's strange, but I really do." Relief flooded through Cloud and Zack smiled a bit before taking an item out of his belt.

"Now, I know why you didn't want to go to the infirmary. Here, a hi-potion to get rid of those injuries." He handed the vial to Cloud, who downed it and sighed in relief as his bruised and cut flesh knitted itself back together.

"Thank you, Zack." He breathed.

"No problem, that's what friends are for." Zack returned easily. Cloud lifted his glowing eyes to regard Zack.

"Friends?" He questioned softly. Zack grinned.

"Yeah, you know, those people that stick by you during tough times. Don't you have anyone like that?" The SOLDIER asked, concern slipping into his gaze once more. Cloud frowned and then shook his head.

"No, not really." He returned. Zack sighed and held out a hand.

"Give me your phone, Cloud." Zack ordered, holding out his hand. Confused, the small cadet handed his PHS to the black haired 2nd and watched him quickly press numbers. Once satisfied, the older boy gave Cloud's phone back. Glowing blue eyes peered at the display and was shocked to see Zack's number programmed into the memory. He raised his eyes and looked at the SOLDIER in askance.

"Now you have a friend. Call me anytime, Spiky." His blonde hair was mussed up by an affectionate gloved hand and Cloud refrained from pointing out that Zack's hair was just as spiky as his.

"Thank you…Zack." He said softly. There was something comforting and warm about having the older SOLDIER as a friend. Zack smiled at him.

"You better put that helmet back on for now. We don't want anyone to see those eyes of yours." The raven haired 2nd advised and Cloud lowered the helmet back into place.

"Hey, now that you have my number, did you want to come train with me? My specialty is swordsmanship though." Zack told him. The blond cadet smiled.

"That's okay. I actually would prefer swords over rifles any day." Zack returned the smile.

"How does Friday after dinner sound to you?" He questioned. Cloud nodded in agreement.

"Sounds good." Zack patted him on the back.

"Great. I will call you then and tell you where to meet me. And don't worry, Spiky. I won't tell anyone else your secret." Zack told him and Cloud knew that it was true, somehow. Zack opened the door to the mess hall.

"You better hurry up and get something into your stomach. Mako burns calories really fast, so make sure not to skip a meal, okay?" The raven haired SOLDIER advised and Cloud stepped into the long hallway.

"Okay, Zack." The other teen flashed a smile.

"See you later, Cloud." He let go of the door and waved as the blond replied.

"See you, Zack." The door closed and the blond cadet hurried to the mess hall, relieved to find that it wasn't closed just yet. He grabbed a tray and filled it with a slightly different looking slop than at lunch and sat at his table. He was feeling better. Someone else knew his secret and was going to help him with swordsmanship. And he had a friend. Something that he had desperately missed and was grateful for now. He ate dinner and then loitered for a long while, knowing that he couldn't take his shower until all of the other cadets were in bed. Once the hours passed, Cloud stood up from his place at the table and put his tray away. He quietly returned to the barracks and gathered up his sleeping garments, blue boxers and a white tee-shirt. The blond showered alone and quickly before he finally went to bed. He left his helmet on the night stand, just in case. After a hectic day, Cloud Strife fell to sleep swiftly, secure in his knowledge that he had Zack as a friend. That someone was on his side.

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><p>Sephiroth never entertained the notion of the symbolism of dreams. They were just electric signals in your brain sending you information while you slept. Meaningless things, really. So when the General laid down that evening for a few hours of rest, he hadn't expected his views to change so quickly.<p>

_There was fire everywhere, raging and consuming. It was too dim and too much had been destroyed for the 1__st__ Class to make out what the charred remains littering the earth around him had once been. Mako green eyes flickered over his surroundings, taking in the dismal ruins of buildings. He noticed that all he could feel was the heat from the inferno and not the pain._

_A dream, how quant; he realized with detached amusement. His dream hazed mind guessed that it was probably Genesis who set this blaze. After all, the red head was partial to the element of fire._

_He turned around in a full circle, taking in the decimated buildings and hungry fire. If anyone had been inside those structures, they were probably dead._

_But that didn't matter. This was just a dream of course._

_Sephiroth froze when he came face to face with another human being that stood apart from the flames, unaffected. _

_Blazing blue eyes stared at him levelly as the flames tousled spiky blonde locks. He was wielding a complex Buster Sword not unlike the one Angeal was so protective of. His black outfit was licked at by the fire but didn't catch. What bothered the General the most was that every time he looked at this stranger, the more vague and unrecognizable the other defining features were. The harder he tried to place this man, the more difficult it was to see him other than mako blue eyes and blonde hair._

_The silence stretched on between them, marked only by the roaring of flame. And then…_

"_Kill me."_

"_**Don't kill me."**_

_Sephiroth blinked. The man's lips had moved with the first statement, but not the second. It was almost as if the stranger had spoken directly into his mind. Not that it wasn't something that would happen in a dream, but something about this was screaming at the silver haired man's instincts. He carefully considered the unidentifiable but intriguing figure wrapped in flames._

"_Why?" He questioned. Fathomless blue eyes tinged with the glow of mako stared back at him. If it was one thing to remember and was clear, it was those eyes. And perhaps that unruly hair. It reminded him of Angeal's pup._

"_She'll seduce you with her lies eventually."_

"_**Don't give in to her again."**_

_Utterly confused, Sephiroth stared at the unfamiliar warrior with the anguished gaze. Who? The green eyed General didn't fall easily for tricks or lies._

"_And why do you care?" He demanded over the sound of the fire. Those pained blue eyes cleared and the emotion was one that Sephiroth could only connect to respect._

"_**Because you could've killed me so many times, but you didn't."**_

"_What are you waiting for? Attack me."_

_Sephiroth resolved to only listen to that alluring, gentle voice. It wasn't laced with pessimism or anger. It was reasonable and the tone effected the silver haired man deeply._

"_I don't understand."_

"_**Just don't ignore your instincts. And remember…"**_

"_Remember?" Puzzled jade eyes stared down at the warrior. He was shorter, Sephiroth noticed absently. Those soft lips quirked into a barely there smile as pain laced those cerulean mako eyes. For a split second, Sephiroth was able to see the other clearly and then it was gone, but the 1__st__ Class couldn't help but admire that wild beauty that was shrouded in so much pain. _

"_**Not everything Hojo tells you is the truth."**_

Sephiroth woke up suddenly, lurching forward in his bed. The clock read 02:00 hours and he shakily pinched his nose. He could still feel the heat of those flames… See the pain in the blonde man's eyes.

_It was only a dream._

Why did that sound so feeble? The General resolved to push it to the back of his mind.

**To be Continued…**

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><p><strong>Author's Notes: Updated for a third time to address page breaks and correct the confusion with Reno. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Anxious Heart. Please leave a review to tell me what you thought or what you enjoyed.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

_**Anxious Heart**_

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><p><strong>Rating: <strong>Mature

**Pairings: **SephirothxCloud, AngealxZack, RudexReno Genesis/Tseng

**Warnings: **Yaoi, Shonen Ai, Lemons, Time Traveling, Smut of varying degrees, Memory loss, Angst, Hojo and dark themes.

**Summary: **Cloud Strife is sent back to his cadet days with his veteran abilities, but no memory of his future. What does this mean for him? For the entire Planet? Can you forge happiness from misery? SephxCloud. AngealxZack. RudexReno. TsengxGenesis.

**Author's Note: **Thank you for reading! Please leave a review. I will try to respond to each of my reviews from now on, especially if it is long or asks a question. Beta'ed by x-YaoiWolf-x.

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

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><p>General Sephiroth woke up the next morning and fell into his normal morning routine almost absently. He pressed the button for his coffee to begin brewing, stripped his night clothes off in the bathroom, and stepped beneath the hot spray of his shower. He tried to keep his mind on the tasks for today.<p>

Firstly, the silver haired man had to go to his office and do any paperwork that had been left on his desk. A lot of people assumed being General had everything to do with battlefields and glory, but that wasn't the case. Sephiroth was required to do things considered mundane, such as paperwork and meetings. His weekly physical and appointment with Hojo was today as well. The General frowned slightly in distaste. He never enjoyed encounters with that man. Hojo insisted that he was the emerald eyed man's father, but Sephiroth highly doubted it.

**Not everything Hojo tells you is the truth.**

"Damn it." Sephiroth breathed, his mind going back to his dream last night like a moth attracted to flame. It had been a dream and the General never placed any faith in them, whether they were aspirations or the kind of dream that you had whilst resting. But last night… It had been as if he were awake and living in that moment. He never had that amount of lucidity when asleep. Sure, some of the elements of the dream held true to how a dream was supposed to behave, but other things screamed that it was not a mere dream.

The blond warrior in the dream had been warning him of something. But what trickery would get past him? This 'she' he spoke of… Sephiroth hesitated, recalling a dream he had repeatedly, nearly every night. A woman would speak to him, her voice soft, alluring and coaxing. There were never any visuals to the dream, just the voice. Was that who the blond man wreathed in flames had been talking about? He smiled, bemused.

"Just a dream. Nothing to worry about," He murmured and he popped open the bottle of shampoo and coated his long hair in it. Sephiroth always took meticulous care of his hair and he wondered idly how the Silver Elite had gotten hold of the information on his favorite hair care product. He considered the fan club a minor annoyance, but nothing to fret over. Rinsing his hair out thoroughly, the silver haired General stepped out of the shower and toweled the strands dry. He took a brush and a comb to it before pulling on his leather pants.

Sephiroth entered the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. It wasn't as if he needed it to get up or anything. The caffeine wasn't needed and the mako burned it off. But it was something that he had picked up from his friend, Angeal. The broad shouldered 1st had drank the bitter liquid from a young age and appreciated it solely based on its flavor. Sephiroth hadn't liked it at first, but once he found that he could add creamers and get sweet tasting things added to the strong brew; he had been hooked. Genesis flatly refused to drink it, insisting that Wutain tea was much better. Angeal and Sephiroth had tried it, but the taste was an acquired one. His dark haired friend had diffused the situation by stating that he liked the Banoran Apple cider that Genesis made much better than the tea.

Sephiroth sipped at the hazelnut beverage before pouring some creamer in. He took immaculate care of his teeth, so he had no worry for possible stains. He had to keep his appearance up to his own standards, Shinra be damned. He fondly remembered the day he decided to grow his hair out to spite Hojo. The General had met Angeal and Genesis on that day and Angeal had told him he would grow his out. When questioned about his own hairstyle, seven year old Sephiroth had touched his short silver hair and said he wanted to grow his out too. Even longer than Angeal. Hojo had not been happy, but all attempts to come at him with scissors were thwarted when the boy could physically throw them across the room. Nobody touched his hair again and when it was apparent that it didn't affect his skill in battle or pose any threat, Hojo dropped the issue. It was just one small victory he had while being raised in the labs.

Sephiroth poured another cup after he was finished and sat it down before swiftly gearing up in his battle harness, black trench coat, and leather boots. He grabbed Masumune from it's rack and then he picked the coffee up again. The General left his apartment and took the elevator down a few levels to enter the offices. They took up the entire floor. His office was bigger than the others and had a view of the construction still being done on the Shinra building. He sat down at his desk after placing his sword within easy reach should an emergency situation arrive. You never could be too careful with both AVALANCHE and Wutai being on bad terms with Shinra.

Glowing emerald eyes critically went over the papers left on his desk. Ah, normal administrative work it seemed. Three cadet files were sat on his desk so he decided to look through those first. The names weren't familiar to him, though the report of beating up a fellow cadet left a bitter taste in his mouth that definitely wasn't from the coffee. He abhorred dissention in the ranks. He read the report filed by Lazard. They had been picking on a cadet, one Cloud Strife. Hmmm…. Odd name. He gave their attached photos a brief glance and then typed the name of their victim in the computer.

Sephiroth froze, mako green eyes widening. It wasn't possible.

_Blond hair whipping in the heat of the flames…glowing blue eyes trained on his face…_

Sephiroth blinked the shocked feeling away and shook his head. No, this was just a cadet. No mako eyes and he was certainly younger. His expression was neutral and harmless. This had to be some kind of coincidence. Perhaps the General had happened upon his file earlier and had just forgotten it. Dreams were funny in the way they worked. But… Sephiroth noted with a sinking feeling that he would not forget that name, it was unique, something that stood out. His emerald eyes moved from that innocent looking youth to his information.

Cadet Cloud Strife was fifteen years old. His hometown was Nibelhiem, where he resided until he came to Midgar a year ago. Birthday August nineteenth and blood type AB. Current height 5'5. Physical evaluations were sub-par, enough for a regular grunt to get by. Psychological exam stated that Cloud was quiet, timid, but determined to prove himself and become a SOLDIER. Nothing special. Yet…

Sephiroth looked at the photograph again then switched off his computer with a shake of the head. No, he wouldn't seek out the cadet. It was just a coincidence, nothing more. He placed the files aside and signed off on the punishment. Latrine duty wasn't really pleasant, but he wasn't sure if that was proper enough punishment. He sipped his coffee whilst going through papers and signing off on them when necessary. When his phone beeped, Sephiroth sighed and set his face into a neutral expression. His 'public face' as Angeal and Genesis would put it. He stood up and grabbed Masumune, fixing the sword to his side.

After taking the elevator down to the Science Department, Sephiroth took the hallway to the right and ignored the intern at the desk. He paused at the twin doors, one leading to Hojo and the other to Hollander. He entered the password for Hojo's laboratory, Promised Land. He wondered at the choice and was a little shocked that the man hadn't changed it for a month or more. Usually Hojo was more paranoid than this. Perhaps he believed no one would figure it out.

"Ah, Sephiroth. Impeccable timing as usual. Please sit." The hunched figure gestured to the metal patient table in the middle of the room. General Sephiroth sat his sword against it and then took a seat. Hojo turned his dark beady eyes on him and picked up a chart.

"How are you feeling?" The scientist asked, eyeing the man critically.

"I am feeling normal, doctor," The silver haired General replied.

"No sickness? Hallucinations? Nothing out of the ordinary?" Hojo questioned, writing on his chart. Sephiroth didn't allow himself to pause, dream or no dream.

"Nothing of the sort," He answered. Hojo nodded and then began to look him over. The hunched scientist checked his eyes, inside his mouth, tested his reflexes, looked into his ears, listened to his heart and then, finally, took his blood. Sephiroth was always baffled by this. Hojo would take more vials than necessary, but never enough to cause him any ill effects. What the scientist used them for, he didn't know. Sephiroth did know that he kept all of the vials in a small refrigerated case in the back of the lab. He could only guess that his blood was being used in other experiments.

Hojo put him through his usual paces to check his strength, dexterity and flexibility. Everything was normal. Hojo jotted more onto the chart and then nodded.

"That will be it for today, boy. Return to your duties." Hojo said dismissively and turned his attention back to one of the cages housing a specimen. Sephiroth nodded and then exited the lab only to run right into Angeal and Genesis. It seemed they had done their own song and dance today as well. Angeal was smiling broadly at him while Genesis read from the book in his hands. There was no question as to what he was reading.

"Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess. We seek it thus, and take to the sky," the auburn haired SOLDIER's eyes lifted from the book, "Ripples form on the water's surface. The wandering soul knows no rest."

"Loveless, Act one," Sephiroth returned with a slight smile. That brought a smile to the fiery 1st Class' face.

"Correct. You'll have the book memorized at this rate," Genesis stated lightly, tucking his beloved book into his red coat. Angeal tilted his head at Sephiroth.

"Everything go well for you?" The long haired man questioned. The General shrugged and strode past them.

"Everything was normal," He murmured, entering the elevator with them and hitting the button for the SOLDIER floor. They hadn't trained much in the VR room since Genesis' accident, but they still liked the privacy it provided them.

"What about you two?" Sephiroth questioned. Genesis sighed.

"Hollander has been giving us mako injections. He said our levels aren't stable just yet. It's such a pain," The red head muttered. The silver haired man hummed in agreement. Luckily, Angeal and Genesis took kindly to mako, especially with it being at such a high level in their systems. All three exited the elevator and walked into the VR Room. Sephiroth locked the door and disabled electricity to the panel. Angeal switched off the recording device. They entered the glass room and put the visors on, letting Sephiroth set the parameters. The outskirts of Midgar sparkled into existence around them, the sandy barren terrain stretching in all directions. There were some challenging monsters out in this location.

"So Seph. Ever think about getting yourself a hobby?" Genesis stated casually. Sephiroth turned towards him, surprise evident in his face.

"Hobby?"

"Yeah. Angeal likes gardening and cooking. I like literature. What do you like?" The red haired man idly swung his sword and glanced at the General, whose face was serious.

"Cross stitching," He deadpanned and his friends burst into good natured laughter. Angeal shook his head.

"No, that wouldn't do. Think of what the Silver Elite might say. But really, Seph, what do you like to do with your free time?" The raven haired 1st questioned. Sephiroth sighed.

"I don't have a hobby. I have Masumune and my career at Shinra," He answered truthfully. Genesis flipped his sword around and then considered it, blue-grey eyes looking around the barren cliffs.

"What would you do if you didn't have your sword and your career?" Genesis asked in curiosity.

Sephiroth frowned. What sort of question was that? He'd always have his sword and his career. It wasn't like they could retire from Shinra. But, just to humor his friends…

"I would settle down somewhere so I could have a hometown. Maybe pick up the local dialect and learn legends of that area. If it wasn't so hostile, I would pick Wutai, but that's out," Sephiroth murmured. Angeal and Genesis nodded in agreement.

"Seems like a war is coming, right?" Angeal asked and the silver haired man nodded.

"Yes, it seems that way," He answered. Wutai had been becoming increasingly hostile. Even a common citizen knew of the tension between Shinra and the Wutaian nation. It was just a matter of time. Their conversation was interrupted by a mob of monsters and the three laid aside their individual worries to focus on training.

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><p>It had been a long Thursday for the blond cadet and all he wanted was a full night of restful sleep. He waited until all of the other cadets in his bunker were breathing deeply before he took off his uniform and slid off his helmet, blazing mako eyes scanning the still forms critically. Dead asleep and they would be for a long while. Forcing himself to relax, the cadet closed his mako eyes and sighed.<p>

_There was snow and chaos all around. Cloud froze in confusion, viewing the world through a slightly cracked visor. Nibelheim…? No, the landscape wasn't right. Tenderly removing himself from the remains of what looked like a Shinra helicopter, Cloud put distance between himself and the smoking contraption, which exploded shortly after._

_A familiar figure stood away from the wreckage and turned with a concerned expression._

_Relief washed through the blond. Zack…_

"_A monster just had to come out of no where. Tseng? Guys?" A Wutaian man in a Turk uniform stood and brushed the snow from his pristine suit. That must be Tseng._

"_It looks like we can't get any radio signal," The Turk reported in a neutral tone. Cloud frowned at them and wondered why he was dreaming about a mission. Shinra hadn't let him do anything more than patrol the slums. And this was so vivid… Much more than the half forgotten images that made no sense of a morning._

"_Well it looks like we all got away without a scratch so it'll work out somehow," Zack replied cheerfully._

"_As expected. We'll be depending on you to lead us through these harsh lands," The Turk countered._

"_Because I'm from the countryside?" Cloud frowned. Zack hadn't said where he was from in their brief exchange. The short youth had always figured that he had come from Midgar originally._

"_If we head to the bottom of this mountain we should reach Modeoheim." Cloud froze, eyes widening. "In other words, if we continue this way we will reach the village."_

_This was not a normal dream… It wasn't following the rules… To give a specific __**name**__…_

"_Alright! Everyone follow me!" The raven haired 2nd called before setting off at a brisk pace that the blond easily caught up with. They walked in silence for a bit before Cloud looked over at his first friend._

"_Zack, what's going on?" He questioned softly._

_Silence, the SOLDIER continued trudging through snow as if he hadn't heard Cloud at all._

"_Za-" The raven haired youth looked behind them and grinned. Tseng and the other cadet were dropping behind._

"_Hey! Don't be so slow!" Zack's gaze finally locked on him. "You seem to be doing pretty well."_

"_You should know why, Zack," Cloud muttered to his friend and then blinked, halting his steps. The raven haired SOLDIER wasn't moving, wasn't breathing. Alarmed, Cloud realized that the snow had halted in mid-decent. Everything was frozen. The blonde returned to his friend's side, distressed._

_Why was the dream stopped? Dreams did not just suddenly stop unless you woke from them._

"_Zack? What's wrong?" He questioned urgently, staring at the 2nd Class SOLDIER._

_**I'm a country boy, too.**_

_Cloud's eyes widened and he stared down the mountain path where a cadet moved towards them through their frozen surroundings. Cloud took a step back, wary of the newcomer._

"_You..." He muttered. The other cadet spoke in a voice that belonged to Cloud. The visible lips curled into a smile._

_**I'm a country boy, too. **__The figure repeated, chin tipping in Zack's direction. Cloud slowly dragged his gaze from the strange cadet to Zack._

"_I'm a country boy, too," He said and everything resumed moving. The energetic SOLDIER smiled._

"_Where?" Zack questioned. Cloud glanced down the path. The cadet was gone._

"_Nibelheim," He responded as he turned his gaze back to the other teen. This was a dream, wasn't it?_

"_Haha…" Zack's glowing eyes were full of mirth. Cloud's lips quirked a little at the other youth's amusement._

"_What about you?" He asked. This is just a dream… no harm in asking…_

"_Me?" Zack inquired, jerking a thumb towards his chest, "Gongaga!" Cloud spluttered quietly and covered his mouth. What the hell?! That was the most ridiculous name for a village… There was probably no such place._

"_Are you laughing? You're laughing, aren't you? Do you even know Gongaga?" Zack questioned._

"_No, but it sounds…very country-like," Cloud answered honestly. If not a made up place, that was as close as he could get to honesty anyway._

"_Nibelheim, too," Zack countered. Cloud blinked._

"_You've never heard of it?" He questioned._

"_Well I've never been there before but I know there is a mako reactor there. And you know what they say, 'A Mako Reactor outside of Midgar usually means-'"_

"_There's nothing else out there," They finished together and they smiled at one another. Zack motioned to him erratically._

"_Hey Tseng, me and-" Zack paused and Cloud hesitated. Didn't Zack at least know him? This was an odd dream. Everything had stopped moving again and he sighed, watching his breath condense in the air. Strange, he actually felt truly cold… He closed his eyes and felt the numbness of his teeth as cold air passed his lips. When the cadet opened his eyes again, the strange figure had returned._

"_What now?" He questioned and the figure motioned at his helmet._

"_No way, they'll all see SOLDIER eyes in the face of a cadet. This will turn into a nightmare-"_

_**You need to see this.**_

_Cloud sighed and turned his attention back to Zack, lifting the helmet free. "Cloud." He waited for the fall out but none was forthcoming as the Second Class merely gave him a small smile._

"_With me and Cloud here there is nothing to be afraid of!" _

"_Fine, I'll leave it up to you two." The Turk was panting lightly, trudging through the snow. Cloud frowned and lifted his face skyward as they continued to walk. He felt like he had lost precious time for some reason._

"_If you need me to see this then help me," He whispered and as if summoned, Cloud's body began moving of it's own volition. At least one thing adhered to the unspoken dream rules now. Zack and the blond walked until they reached the crest of the mountain path._

"_Hmm, let's wait here for a bit," Zack murmured, obviously waiting for the cadet and Tseng to catch up._

"_Zack?" Cloud questioned, the words automatically spilling over his tongue without any thought beforehand._

"_Hmm?"_

"_What's it like to be a SOLDIER?" He asked. The raven haired youth shrugged._

"_I don't know. Well, once you get in, you'll know," Zack answered._

"_If I ever get in…" _

"_Don't be like that, even I got in pretty easily," Zack reassured and then looked off into the ravine below. "Hey, Cloud. Look over there." The blond's gaze was automatically drawn to the building below that bore Shinra decal. Tseng had finally caught up with them._

"_This is a facility doing mako excavation," He informed._

"_I'll go check it out," Zack volunteered. Tseng glanced over at the teenager meaningfully._

"_Our mission is to only investigate the situation in Modeohiem. From here on we shouldn't get into many battles, let alone fighting Genesis. In other words…" The Turk paused and Zack nodded._

"_Leave it to me! SOLDIERs are not all brawn. I'll show you what I'm made of. Cloud, don't miss this!" The 2nd Class ran off towards the building._

"_Umm…" Cloud murmured and then blinked when he suddenly had control over his body once more._

_**Follow him. I'll stay here.**_

_Cloud whirled around and came face to face with himself. No mako shine was in the other fifteen… no, sixteen year old's eyes. The teen smiled sadly and nodded towards Zack._

_Stumbling slightly to catch up, the blond followed Zack as he snuck past the guards, his mind whirling. He followed his friend into the warehouse and they took the elevator. They stepped off onto a platform and Cloud blinked when he spotted Commander Rhapsodos and a man who looked like a scientist._

_Commander Genesis Rhapsodos… Cloud had only seen him from afar and on the news when he watched from his hometown. He had never interacted with the auburn haired man directly. Why was the Commander in his dream? There was something wrong with the 1st Class SOLDIER. He looked sick and in no normal way. As Zack approached, the red head drew the scientist back against him, holding his Rapier to the man's neck._

"_Wait! What are you doing? You need me! Without me, who do you think will stop your degradation?" The scientist said frantically. Genesis eyes trailed to the side._

"_Jenova cells," He murmured._

_Cloud flinched and held one hand to his head as pain lanced through it at the mere mention of that name. Jenova? Who was..?_

_His thoughts were interrupted when the raven haired SOLDIER lunged forward and knocked the sword away from the scientist's neck. The scientist made to run but Cloud lunged forward with a sense that he was back in his 'body' and caught the man around his shoulders, trying to hold him._

"_Stop!" He cried._

"_Good work, Cloud!" Zack praised. The scientist struggled and knocked Cloud away, something that angered the teen. He knew he could hold the man down now. Why wasn't his dream reflecting this?_

"_You don't even know where the Jenova cells are stored! Even if you go to Hojo you don't know for certain if you will find them."_

_Cloud winced again and his eyes trailed to the Commander. These… Jenova cells would stop Genesis' sickness?_

"_If that's so, if I stay the way I am now I'll just rot away. However, I'll take the world with me!" Genesis brandished his Rapier and the scientist ran away._

"_Cloud! After him!" Zack commanded and the blond blinked as his other self ran after the scientist, leaving him behind. The cadet whirled around at the sound of blades clashing and watched as the two SOLDIERs fought an intense battle. Why was this happening? Genesis and Zack were on the same side. Zack ended the fight, knocking the auburn haired man to the metal grating._

_Genesis struggled to his feet, panting lightly._

"_Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul. Pride is lost, wings stripped away. The end is nigh," The 1st Class SOLDIER backed up slowly, away from Zack. "This is how a monster's road ends," The raven haired teen frowned and gestured desperately._

"_We aren't monsters! We're SOLDIER! Where has your pride gone?" He cried. Cloud blinked, why did the Commander think he was a monster? Genesis had reached the edge of the metal grating._

"_Even if the morrow is barren of promises, nothing shall forestall my return. If this world threatens my life… it goes with me." Genesis closed his glowing eyes and leant backward, his body falling._

"_No!" Cloud and Zack rushed to the edge and watched the older man disappear into the depths of the dig site, falling to his death. This was a dream… Only a dream…_

"_Genesis…" Zack murmured sadly at his side before sheathing his sword and he begun to walk away, so Cloud followed. Together, the blond and raven haired 2nd Class made their way through the Modeohiem Bathhouse until they reached the third floor. Glowing blue eyes blinked in surprise when he spotted his other and Tseng knocked out on the floor._

"_Tseng!" Zack cried._

"_I'm alright… Angeal is waiting for you up ahead." Zack nodded and checked on the other Cloud, who pulled himself into a sitting position, assuring the teen that he was alright._

_They went on ahead, discovering Commander Hewley waiting in one of the rooms. This confused the cadet even further. Why was Commander Hewley in his dream? Sure, the broad shouldered 1st Class interacted more with the cadets, but that was still rare._

"_I should have been the one to fight Genesis," Angeal muttered softly. Cloud blinked in shock. Why was he talking like this? From what he knew, Commander Rhapsodos and Angeal were close friends._

"_Honestly, who do you think took care of that?" Zack returned in exasperation and slight sadness._

"_What happens next can only be done by you…" Angeal drew his Buster Sword and swiped the blade down at his student, who blocked just in time. Cloud gasped and tried to stop them, only to pass through them like a ghost._

"_Commander! Stop it!" He pleaded, clenching his fists. This was all wrong!_

"_What do you mean?! Stop, Angeal!" Zack shouted, deflecting the blow and staring at his mentor with wide eyes._

"_There's someone waiting for you, isn't there?" Angeal baited, readying his sword once more. A hurt expression crossed the raven haired SOLDIER's face._

"_Angeal… You aren't serious, are you?" He breathed. The scientist from before walked into the room confidently._

"_Good, Angeal! Now is the time for our family to take revenge!" Zack's gaze snapped between the two._

"_Family?"_

"_No! My father is dead!" Angeal shouted, expression thunderous._

"_Then take revenge on your mother's behalf," The scientist amended. Angeal looked at the floor with a subdued and sad expression._

"_My mother was ashamed of her past and that made her take her own life!"_

_Cloud didn't miss the relieved expression on Zack's face, although he didn't know what it meant._

"_Ashamed? Unfortunately, you are mistaken. I think she was really proud of it. She even used her own name for the project code name. Project G. Otherwise known as Project Gillian." The scientist smirked._

"_Don't you dare speak my mother's name!" Angeal snapped, glaring._

"_Jenova cells were injected into that woman. Her cells were then directly injected into the fetus known as Genesis," he paused, "but Genesis was a failure. I would never accept something like that. But Angeal, you received her cells directly. You are perfect." The smile that bloomed on the man's face made Cloud sick to his stomach. It was awful… Cloud knew that the scientists of Shinra enhanced humans, but to tamper with their birth and change them…_

"_I'm a perfect…monster. Zack, my cells can be injected into other people…"_

"_Bidirectional clones," the scientist continued, uncaring of Angeal's sadness. "It means that you have received Jenova's power!" The Commander ignored the scientist and looked at Zack instead._

"_Zack, do you remember our promise? That we'd fight against anything that causes torment to this world?"_

"_Yeah, but you're wrong," Zack whispered, staring at his mentor._

"_I'll become the torment, Zack, I'll show you." Angeal held up a hand._

"_Stop! If you do that you can't change back," The scientist warned. Monsters surrounded the Commander and the scientist rushed over to the broad shouldered SOLDIER only to be pushed carelessly aside._

"_Damnit! They're just cells!" The scientist called. Was that real concern or just worrying over a valuable specimen? Cloud's eyes widened when the monsters began to merge with the 1st Class._

"_Angeal!" Zack cried desperately. The light faded and in Angeal's place stood a horrendous monster. Cloud rushed to the confused spiky haired youth's side._

"_No, Zack! Run away." But it was no use. The monster lunged at the teen with it's trident and nicked a deep cut into Zack's cheek. The youth blinked against the pain and his face pinched in emotional turmoil._

"_Angeal… Where did your honor go!?" He cried before fighting the creature. Tears streaked down the youth's face as he fought with all of his strength, emotionally and physically. _

_The monster fell and melted away to reveal the human form of Angeal once more. Zack fell to his knees beside his mentor, who smiled weakly._

"_You did well, Zack. I'm counting on you for the rest," his hand closed around the hilt of the Buster Sword and lifted it up, offering it to the teen, "never forget your honor." _

_Zack hesitantly took the hilt and clung to it as Angeal's face relaxed into the peace that accompanied death. The raven haired 2nd's shoulders sagged and he let out a choked noise before beginning to sob openly. Cloud's eyes moistened as tears of sympathy began to fall down his face. He knelt beside the teen, watching as Angeal's body dissolved into glowing green tendrils of light, returning to the Planet. This only caused Zack to cry harder._

"_Zack… I'm sorry," He whispered. Cloud's words never reached the youth, who had pressed himself into the floor where Angeal's body once had been, body wracked with the cries of his own grief. The blond cadet reached out to touch his only friend and his surroundings dissolved._

_Cloud flinched and covered his glowing eyes against the blinding white light. What was happening?! Where was Zack? He lowered his hand and blinked at his surroundings. Nothing but glowing white surrounded him. The cadet stood slowly and looked around in confusion._

"_Where am I?" He asked, overwhelmed by the lack of information on where he was. He had been in Modeoheim just moments before and he knew that he was dreaming, but…_

_**Cloud…**_

_The cadet whirled around to find the source of the voice that had spoken to him in his waking hours but he saw nothing. For some reason, he could only hear Zack and not the resonance of his own voice twined with the other's._

"_Who are you?" The blond asked and he was answered with a sigh._

_**That is a loaded question, Spiky. You know who I am, but I can't answer your question in detail. It's too soon. Suffice it to say that I am your friend and would never lead you wrong. I need you to do something for me.**_

_The cadet hesitated. It was Zack's voice, but different somehow. He doubted that the Zack he knew in his waking hours was the one speaking to him._

"_What do you need?" The spiky haired youth questioned._

_**This is dangerous and might sound insane. But I need you to break into the Science Department.**_

"_I can't do that," Cloud answered quickly, feeling panic surge into his chest. That was the __**last **__place he needed to be. The point of it all was to not disappear into the labs._

_**Cloud… It's not a question of can't or won't. You need to do this or everything will be for nothing. I wouldn't ask you to do this unless it was absolutely necessary. I know you are confused and frightened. You want answers. They will come when the time is right. But for now, think of this as a mission issued from a SOLIDER to a cadet, alright?**_

_The blond breathed out slowly to dispel the panic. A mission… At least when it was put that way, it seemed less terrifying. The thought that his questions would be answered in time had a calming effect on him. At least there were answers to his questions and even though he wanted to know them now… all he knew was that he trusted Zack without rhyme or reason. Like instinct._

"_What do I have to do?" He asked the bodiless voice._

_**I need you to sneak into the Science Department. The easiest way in is a maintenance elevator one floor below. It will take you directly to Hojo's lab. Search the lab for blood vials, you will know which ones. Take that and go to Hollander's office, which is one door over from Hojo's laboratory. Mix the blood into the mako supply there, then get out.**_

_Cloud had never been to those floors before and it sounded like a long shot at best. He wanted to pry, to ask for more help but he was sure if there was anything more that Zack could offer him, he would have said it already._

_**I know it's risky and that you may be caught. But it needs to be done. Will you do it?**_

_Cloud hesitated for a long while before he nodded, mako blue eyes closing._

"_I will do it." _

_**Thank you, Cloud. Remember, you are not alone.**_

Cloud's glowing blue eyes opened to the sight of the bunk above him.

**To be Continued…**

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><p><strong>Author's Notes: Oh my, danger already. And I am sorry for the painfully long dream sequence, they will happen in this fic and I will try to do it sparingly. If you haven't already guessed, Anxious Heart got the most comments and will be the one I work on first. Fleeting Moon will be next and then What Lies Within. Please leave a review!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

_**Anxious Heart**_

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><p><strong>Rating: <strong>Mature

**Pairings: **SephirothxCloud, AngealxZack, RudexReno TsengxGenesis

**Warnings: **Yaoi, Shonen Ai, Lemons, Time Traveling, Smut of varying degrees, Memory loss, Angst, Hojo and Dark themes.

**Summary: **Cloud Strife is sent back to his cadet days with his veteran abilities, but no memory of his future. What does this mean for him? For the entire Planet? Can you forge happiness from misery? SephxCloud. AngealxZack. RudexReno. TsengxGenesis.

**Author's Note: **Thank you so much for all of the lovely reviews! Beta'ed by x-YaoiWolf-x.

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><p>Chapter Three<p>

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><p>It had felt like that dream took forever and the blond was just as exhausted emotionally, if not more than when he had initially gone to sleep. His gaze trailed over to the clock on his nightstand, realizing it was an hour before anyone else would get up. It was Friday morning, the day he and Zack had scheduled a training lesson in swordsmanship.<p>

Zack...

He was sure that voice in his head belonged to his friend, but it was different and not likely connected to the Zack he encountered during his waking hours. It was just another piece to a puzzle that Cloud didn't know the bigger picture of. He was beginning to have suspicions, though. Just a few more pieces and perhaps he would know the answer.

But was the solution one that a Shinra cadet could handle?

He got up from the bunk stealthily and went over the dream once more in his head as he went through his morning routine. The blond took a shower quickly and dressed in his cadet uniform. Only when he returned to his bed to sit quietly, his standard issue helmet secure over his shining eyes, did he allow himself to speculate. That dream and the brief encounter with…the other Zack, it was something that his mind wouldn't have made up or conjured on its own. It was far too real. But what had it been exactly? Cloud had never been on a mission, much less traveled to Modeoheim. He didn't know Hojo or that other scientist, Hollander, yet he had been made privy to experimentations on Shinra's two Commanders. Top secret information, something that a Turk would know.

It hadn't been a mere dream. Was what he had been shown…a possible outcome that would happen in the future? He could only think of one omnipotent force that had the power to do that and that was the very will of the Lifestream. There weren't many that put stock in the power the Planet held, but his mother, Elyria had believed in the teachings of Cosmo Canyon and had passed the stories down to him.

Of course, as a child he had accepted them without much thought. It was when he had grown a little older and found that Shinra was using the Lifestream as a source of power that he began to doubt the teachings that Avalanche followed. Surely if the Planet was being taken advantage of, it would defend itself somehow, right? But now, in this situation that Cadet Strife found himself in he couldn't help but believe what his mother had taught him. There was just no other explanation.

His thoughts meandered to the last part of the dream where the other Zack had spoken to him. Seeing that the dream was important to his new mission in sneaking into the labs, Cloud could only guess that what he did might save Commander Hewley and Commander Rhapsodos. He didn't want them to die, especially after seeing Zack's emotional reaction to losing Angeal. Commander Hewley was the heart of SOLDIER and Commander Rhapsodos the soul. If rumors were anything to go by, these two men were the only people his hero and General was close to and considered friends. How would losing them effect Sephiroth?

It had to be done, but…

That curt order to use the elevator was not well thought out and likely an impulsive order born from raw emotion and hope. There were things to consider when trying to be stealthy in a building with such high security. There were suspicious people, Turks, security cameras and key cards. It wasn't a two dimensional mission to be sure. Sneaking into the last place he wanted to be would have to be approached delicately and even then there was risk he would be caught nonetheless. He needed a plan and he had all day to think about it.

The alarm to wake the cadets sounded. Cloud stood and headed for the mess hall.

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><p>Zack Fair slowly opened his eyes and let the world around him come into sharp focus. It took him a few seconds to register the sight offered to him but when he became fully aware, he smiled warmly. Angeal was sleeping soundly with a peaceful expression on his face. The Commander must have finished his mission and come home last night without waking the spiky haired teen. Zack didn't move, simply running his eyes over his mentor's face. When asleep, the 1st Class SOLIDER appeared carefree and all the worries of the world could wait until he awoke. Azure eyes gentled at this and Zack's smile became tender. They had been together through a lot of things.<p>

The sable haired youth had joined the military at fifteen after running away from Gongaga and his parent's wishes. Even though he was friendly and outgoing, the other cadets resented his boundless energy and determination to obtain his dream of becoming a hero. He had consistently been first place in both studies and physical prowess. Most of his peers kept him at arms length while some became hostile. Being alienated had been torture because he was a very social person and thrived when in groups. This had caught the attention of his Commander and Angeal had taken him under his wing to teach him.

This of course alienated him even further from the cadets but Zack didn't have to worry about it for long. Under Angeal's tutelage, he had made 3rd Class before he was sixteen. With the mako treatments and moving to the SOLDIER quarters, Zack had made friends and he continued to thrive. He hit 2nd Class at seventeen and now as he was verging on becoming eighteen, the youth figured 1st Class wasn't far off.

He had realized his feelings for Angeal after a mission as a 3rd. He had gotten injured in a skirmish at Fort Condor. It had been a gash on his chest. Zack had thought it minor and not worth a potion, so he had decided to let it heal normally. What he hadn't realized was that 3rd Class SOLDIER still could get ill, the level of mako in their system still weak enough to let common sicknesses occur. No one knew an infection was plaguing the young SOLDIER until the teen fainted while lifting weights. Unfortunately, he had been bench pressing about four hundred pounds at the time and when he fainted, all that weight had crashed down on his chest.

He had awoken a week later in the intensive care unit of the infirmary with Angeal at his side. The man had been an emotional wreck. He had called Zack every insult under the sun and demanded why he hadn't sought help, but it was the tears in the man's grey eyes that gave him away. Angeal had been truly scared. The nurse said that it was a miracle that he was alive and that his mentor hadn't left his side once during the week. Even though Zack was weak and was being yelled at, his heart pulsed faster and for a different reason as he smiled helplessly at his teacher. It had began as a small spark of emotion until it was a steady and unflinching fire. Zack loved Angeal. His patience, determination, loyalty, a pillar of strength in weak times. Angeal was everything Zack needed and wanted.

Zack had thought that his love would be unrequited. After all, the broad shouldered 1st Class was nothing but professional. It had been five months ago that they had both tripped up in a Virtual Reality simulation and ended up falling over the other. Angeal had been attempting to correct Zack's stance but being the ever distracted 'puppy' led the raven haired teenager to abruptly unbalance them both because he had noticed a monster approaching them. His helmet had flown off as Angeal sprawled on top on him and the VR simulation had began dissolving around them due to a built in safety feature. Zack had stared up at his teacher, finally seeing the light of longing and hesitation Angeal had been hiding from him. Before that could dissipate, one of Zack's gloved hands rose and rested on the back of Angeal's head, placing soft pressure there until their lips met in a chaste kiss.

It had taken a month of constant reassurances and stubbornness to convince Angeal he wasn't taking advantage of Zack in any way. So they were on month four of their relationship and the 2nd Class SOLDIER couldn't be happier. He smiled brightly as the other man stirred and opened up stormy eyes to regard him. Angeal returned the smile.

"How long have you been awake, puppy?" His teacher's voice was husky from sleep and Zack grinned.

"About twenty minutes now, 'Geal. I was just enjoying watching you sleep," He replied. The 1st Class SOLDIER sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"That's not creepy at all," Angeal replied with a small quirk of his lips. Zack snorted and sat up, wrapping his arms around his mentor's shoulders.

"You still love me though, right?" He questioned jokingly. Angeal removed his fingers from his face and looked down at his student seriously.

"Of course I do, Zack." The broad shouldered man confirmed before smiling. Angeal leaned down and kissed the sable haired teenager. When Zack tried to deepen it, the 1st Class SOLDIER pulled back with a sigh.

"No time for that, pup. I have a meeting with Lazard shortly and will be occupied throughout the day. I will make time for us tonight though," the grey eyed SOLDIER amended with a smile when Zack pouted. "What are your plans for today?"

Zack hesitated. Today was Friday, the day he had promised Cloud to train with him. He couldn't lie to Angeal because the other man knew him too intimately. Even omitting that detail would put the other man's instincts on edge that something wasn't quite right. Even though he wanted to keep Cloud safe, deep down he knew that Angeal wouldn't betray someone Zack cared about. He wouldn't tell his teacher the details, but he felt like there might be a time when the blond's secret would have to be made known to at least Angeal.

"I promised a cadet that I would help him in swordsmanship today. We'll likely do that once his classes end," Zack answered. Angeal's face appeared stunned for a moment before a warm smile stretched his lips.

"So you're taking someone under your wing as well. I didn't know that my desire for teaching rubbed off on you, puppy. How did you meet this cadet?" His lover questioned.

"Well, a few days ago I found him on the running track being beat up by some punks. I took care of the problem and after we talked for a bit, I offered to train him," Zack answered, picking his words carefully. Angeal frowned at the mention of bullying.

"Sounds like he made an impression, what's his name?" His teacher asked. There was the barest of pauses before Zack answered. He trusted his lover not to turn Cloud in if he found out the truth.

"Cloud." He replied. Angeal nodded and got out of their bed, checking his PHS.

"That's a unique name. Well, I have to get ready for the meeting or I'll be late. Good luck with your training session, pup. I will see you tonight." Angeal caressed his cheek and placed a lingering kiss on his student's lips before leaving the bedroom to prepare. Zack sighed and checked his own phone. There was mail from Kunsel, but no other pending missions or meetings. So his day was truly free.

He laid back against the pillows to wait for his turn to get ready, his thoughts returning to Cloud Strife. It was odd to say the least. It was even stranger that Zack really did believe his story. There was just something about the blond that made the 2nd want to protect him from the cruelty of the world. Something about the way he spoke and held himself made Zack want to believe him despite the ridiculous notion that Cloud had woken up enhanced. The teen was still struggling with that aspect, but if the blond cadet insisted that he hadn't been experimented upon already and that he had in fact woken up like that, then Zack would believe him. Strange things happened to those that affiliated with Shinra. This was stranger than anything that the youth had seen, but it was that elusive 'something' about Cloud Strife that compelled Zack into believing him.

Zack was drawn out of his thoughts when Angeal called out that the shower was free. He got up from the bed and got ready for the day, counting down the hours to when he would be able to see Cloud.

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><p>Once dinner rolled around, Cloud ate his lunch as quickly as he could despite the three bullies being absent. He was excited and he didn't know exactly when Zack would contact him, so he was erring on the side of caution and getting his meal over with. He had no sooner placed his tray aside when his phone rang. The blond looked at the display to confirm that it was Zack calling before answering.<p>

"…Zack?" He queried, a bit of hesitation in his voice as the dream flashed across his mind. There was an answering chuckle.

"Hey, Cloud. Are you all done for today?" The 2nd Class SOLDIER asked eagerly. The blond's lips quirked upward.

"Yes, just got finished in the mess hall. What's the plan for tonight?"

"Well, I can't say much over the phone but could you meet me at the train station?" Zack questioned. Cloud carefully filed away the information that their phones might be tapped if the other's actions were anything to go by. He hadn't said anything incriminating and would be careful from now on.

"Of course. I will head there immediately," he answered.

"Great! See you there, Cloud!" The line dropped and Cloud pocketed his PHS before dropping by the bunks really quick. The blond checked around the room and once he found it was clear, opened the chest at the end of his bed. He dug underneath his clothing and gear before quickly pocketing the stolen Materia found at the very bottom. Cloud planned on returning the orb as soon as he tested it out. Seeing as Zack had said they were going to the train station, they were not training within Shinra headquarters. The cadet wanted to see what he could do with magic. If he told the 2nd Class SOLDIER he would return it, it shouldn't be a problem.

The youth left the bunks and left the Shinra military compound, mako blue eyes taking in the sights of the civilians that lived on top of the plate. They looked happy and many were dressed formally. Cloud had not been sent to the Slums on a mission yet, but he had heard stories of just how horrible living conditions were down there. It was surprising to him that people would choose to live under the massive plate, never seeing the sky. The only reason that he could think of that people would stay there was that they had no where else to go. Perhaps that and they had something to hide…

Cloud hastened his steps when he heard a whistle blow, hoping that his side trip to the bunk wouldn't make he and Zack miss the train. He got to the platform to find Zack waiting for him. The spiky haired SOLDIER smiled and his blue eyes brightened upon the uniformed cadet's arrival.

"Hey, Spiky! You are just in time. Come on, let's go." Zack had two tickets in his hand and Cloud frowned lightly.

"You didn't have to buy my ticket too. I could've gotten it," He insisted. Zack tossed him a disbelieving look while handing the tickets over.

"With the pittance they pay you?! No way, it's on me. Now come on or we won't be able to do everything I have planned." The teenager sounded eager as they boarded the train. Cloud sat beside Zack, noting that the SOLDIER had two standard issue broadswords strapped to his back. He refrained from asking just what Zack had planned because he didn't know if anyone from Shinra was on this train. Even just an employee was dangerous because Shinra was a cut-throat organization. Some would do anything to get a promotion.

"So I looked at your file in the database. It says you are from Nibelhiem. What is it like there?" Zack questioned suddenly, his knee bouncing in impatience. Cloud's eyes widened behind the helmet's visor but it really shouldn't be a surprise that the other teen looked him up. Under such odd circumstances, it was natural for the SOLDIER to be curious about him. The blond considered the other's question.

"Well, it's pretty barren. We have really harsh and long winters. Summer is tepid at best. And there's the mako reactor up on Mount Nibel…other than that, there really isn't anything special about it," Cloud answered. Zack smiled at him, bemused.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Gongaga has a reactor too. What I really wanted to ask was what was life like there for you?" Zack frowned, noting that the blond had become very still. "What's wrong, Cloud?"

"You said…Gongaga?" The blond asked hesitantly.

"_Me? Gongaga!"_

"Yeah, it's a pretty humid place surrounded by jungle. Why?" Zack asked, his eyes bright with confusion at the other's reaction. Cloud shook it off and frowned. It seems that his dream really was more than it seemed. There was no denying that now.

"It's just that I never heard of it. Where is it?" He lied. The SOLDIER chuckled and rubbed the back of his head.

"Actually it's not very far from Cosmo Canyon. So back to my question, what was life like in Nibelhiem for you? Did you have any friends you left behind?" Zack questioned.

"Well, I actually didn't have many people around my age. Nibelhiem is pretty small. But the others that were my age were a lot like those cadets you put away. I don't know the reason, but my mom and I weren't treated that great. Like we weren't welcome there. As for friends… I really didn't have any. But there was a girl there that made me make a promise to her," Cloud answered. The sable haired teenager smiled teasingly.

"Ah, so you have a girl waiting for you back home?" He asked coyly. Cloud blinked and shook his head quickly.

"It's not like that at all. While I admit I did have a crush on Tifa when she was younger, it eventually faded," The blond said softly. Zack frowned a little and tilted his head.

"Why?"

"Well, the kids that she hung out with were the ones that bullied me. If she truly cared about me, she would have made time for me and perhaps told her friends to back off. But she didn't do that. She only expressed interest in me when the town found out that I was leaving for Midgar to become a SOLDIER. It was when she asked me to make a promise with her that I decided that Tifa could be nothing more than a potential friend. We grew up together but were never really close," He explained.

"What was the promise you made?" Zack questioned. Cloud smiled a little sadly.

"She said that she wanted me to save her when she was in a pinch. That she wanted to feel what it was like just once in her life. I told her I would." Zack made a face.

"Sounds like she wanted you to be her knight in shining armor. While I think its cool to save a damsel in distress, she really could have had better timing. Are you going to keep up your end even though she wasn't really a friend?" Cloud nodded in answer.

"Yes. The reason I wanted to join SOLIDER was to become strong like Sephiroth, so that I could protect those that I cared about. I hated being weak," the blond smiled. "Ironic now, huh? Will I even be admitted now?" Zack hesitated, glancing out at the polluted sky.

"I don't know, Cloud. I really don't. But…," he looked at the cadet seriously, "don't give up on your dream, okay?" The blond looked over at the 2nd Class, finding himself at the end of a piercing stare. He paused and then nodded with a wan smile.

"I won't."

"Promise?"

"I promise," The blond affirmed with a slight nod. Zack smiled at him and stood up as the train slowed. Cloud looked out the window and realized they were stopping near the outer plate of Sector two. He refrained from questioning Zack as they got off at the platform.

As they walked, the sable haired SOLDIER led them closer to the construction zone. Workers meandered about the area, manning heavy equipment and directing steel ties through the area. They skirted around the area until the steel underneath their feet turned to hard ground as they passed through Sector two's gate. Once Cloud was certain no one was in the area, he finally felt free to ask his questions.

"Where are we going?" He asked. Zack glanced over his shoulder and pointed to the cliffs about a mile out.

"Well, seeing as we don't know exactly how strong you are; I figured that the outskirts would be a good place just in case. Plus, out here there is no surveillance and we can't harm anything if we let loose," He explained. Cloud hummed quietly in understanding.

"So…how was your life before you came here?" The blond asked, genuinely curious. Zack smiled at the question.

"It was pretty much the polar opposite to yours, actually. I was a rambunctious kid. Everyone in Gongaga loved me and my family. It was humid nearly year round. I always had this dream that I would grow up and become a hero. But I couldn't do it in Gongaga, so I left to come here." He shrugged.

Silence stretched between them for a good portion of the walk.

"So, Cloud? How do you think you became enhanced? I know you said you woke up like that but you have to have some theories by now, right?" The 2nd Class SOLDIER questioned. Cloud blinked behind his visor and hesitated before answering.

"Well, it wasn't science, so I am thinking something more metaphysical," The blond answered. Zack frowned for a moment before hazarding a guess.

"Like the Lifestream?" The sable haired youth glanced over his shoulder. "So, you believe all that stuff about the Planet having its own sentience and such?" Cloud took a moment before nodding finally.

"No other explanation fits. You have already taken courses related to mako, what do you think?" He asked. Zack heaved a sigh and looked up at the unpolluted sky.

"I really try not to think about it, actually…but now that you bring it up, it might be possible. I know that Shinra waters the actual study of the Lifestream down because it would paint them in a bad light, so I don't know much. All I know is that when we die, we return to it and that mako is essentially the Lifestream giving SOLDIER its power. Why would it suddenly give you power, though?" He asked with an earnest question.

Cloud glanced off to the side with a frown. He didn't want to tell Zack that he was having dreams of prophetic nature. What if what he did during the mission that the other Zack gave him backfired and harmed instead of helped the Commanders? It was too early in their friendship for the blond to trust too blindly. Zack believed him and would protect him, pushing that might break their bond. He would wait until after the mission to tell Zack.

"I don't know," he replied simply. "We don't understand a lot about the Planet or the Lifestream." The SOLIDER sighed and shrugged.

"Well, it's happening regardless of science or the Planet. We just need to keep you out of Dr. Creepy's clutches and we're good." Cloud blinked at the nickname for Hojo and stared at the sable haired teenager's back in consideration.

"Why are you helping me?" He asked finally. Zack stopped and looked back at him with a soft smile.

"You know, I was wondering the same thing this morning. There's just something special about you that I can't place. I just feel the need to project you and be there as your friend. You have been going it alone so far…it must've been rough." The SOLDIER took the extra sword from his magnetic sheathe and handed it to Cloud. The blond sliced it through the air and then looked down the edge. He frowned.

"It's unbalanced," he murmured, "and not nearly heavy enough." Zack laughed.

"Well, it's the best I could grab. I'm pretty sure they don't teach the cadets swordsmanship so I'll teach you everything I know. It sounds like you picked up a sword before…Are you used to something heavier?" He questioned, unsheathing his own sword and testing it. Both swords hadn't felt unbalanced to him. Cloud looked from the sword to Zack.

"I've never handled a sword in my life…" He confessed. Zack blinked in shock.

"What?! Then how did you know it was unbalanced?" The raven haired teen asked in confusion.

Cloud brought the sword up and considered it silently for a few moments. Something in him was telling him that the steel broadsword was smithed incorrectly. The blade had an imperfection at its core. Although it was a sword for the SOLDIER elite, that same something was aching for something more… A faint idea rose from the depths of his mind and the blond felt like he needed to sketch it out before the night was over so he wouldn't forget. Moving his focus back to the question, Cloud answered as honestly as he could.

"There's some instinct that is telling me that I'm used to something else," He murmured. Zack looked at the other teenager silently before smiling helplessly.

"This situation gets more and more complicated. Let's see what you can do, okay?" Zack slid a foot back and fell into a ready stance. Cloud lifted the helmet and threw it to the side before mimicking his friend; bringing the sword up readily. The SOLDIER darted forward and swung the sword hard, aiming for the blond's open side. Metal met metal as the blond cadet moved swiftly to deflect the blow.

Another blow towards the head and Cloud's blade came up lightning quick, blocking effortlessly. Sparks flew off the exchange and Zack grinned, beginning to attack in earnest with his full strength.

Zack was amazed, every strike that he issued was met with steel. Cloud's glowing blue eyes were narrowed, focused, and calm. The blond didn't appear fazed, but he had yet to strike out at the sable haired teen. Zack decided to pull a dirty move and he kicked out as his sword swung downwards. The SOLDIER froze when his foot encountered empty air and he had to pivot on one heel to direct the sword's momentum away from his own body. His sword gouged the earth from the force and Zack straightened, eyes widening when he spotted Cloud several feet away.

"Damn…that was fast…" He breathed. Sure, the raven haired youth relied more on strength than speed, but he had only seen the General move that fast before. Zack felt a sliver of excitement and fear run through his veins.

"Hey, Cloud? Why aren't you attacking me? This is supposed to be a spar!" He chuckled a bit nervously when the blond took a readied stance.

"Are you sure you're ready?" The cadet called to him.

"As ready as I'll ever be…" Zack murmured. Cloud hesitated.

"What?"

"Yeah! I'm ready!" Zack yelled in return. The cadet seemed to hover in indecision for a moment before launching himself forward and swinging the sword upwards. Sparks flew off of the blades as Zack fought to keep his footing but he was unprepared when Cloud followed that attack with another. Zack watched mako blue eyes widen and he jerked back, the blade nicking his cheek. The blond dropped his sword.

"Zack? Are you alright?" He asked, reaching a gloved hand out to his friend. The sable haired teenager was panting and he smiled as blood dripped from his jaw.

"Looks like my strength can't match yours. And your speed… Cloud, with that amount of skill, you are easily a 1st Class SOLDIER. I couldn't even take one full attack from you. Please tell me you weren't holding back." He rummaged through his item belt and withdrew a potion. When the blond lowered his eyes guiltily, Zack nearly spit out his potion.

"What? You were holding back? How?" He demanded. Cloud quickly brought up his hands in a defensive gesture.

"Only in where I swung, not anywhere else. I didn't want to hurt you." Zack lifted an eyebrow.

"You are a horrible liar, Cloud. Tell me where you held back." The SOLDIER watched as Cloud looked off to the side.

"If I would have struck with my full strength, the swords might have broke. At least mine would have. I didn't want to injure either of us," The cadet answered truthfully. Zack frowned. He had barely been able to withstand that attack and hold it with his full strength. Was Cloud a match for Sephiroth? Was he **stronger **than Sephiroth? He could only thank Gaia that the blond was on their side.

"Well, I didn't bring a spare sword and I don't think I'm a match for you. Want to head back?" Zack questioned. Cloud paused and shook his head.

"I have one more thing to try…" He pulled out a dimly glowing green sphere. Zack blinked in surprise.

"Where did you get Materia, Cloud?" The blond frowned at the sphere in his hand.

"Well…I didn't want to accidentally pull anything so I took it from Materia Class," he looked up at Zack's expression and quickly followed it up with, "but I'm going to put it back! I'm just borrowing it. I will return it," He promised. Zack sighed and then smiled, shrugging.

"Okay, as long as you return it. Let's see what you can…wait a second." Cloud watched in confusion as Zack ran a few meters away from him.

"What…?"

"Hey, can't be too careful! Now cast," Zack called. He watched as Cloud held the sphere out in front of him and closed his glowing eyes. His smile faded when nothing seemed to happen after awhile, but upon closer inspection…the Materia was gradually glowing more and more brightly. He backed up a bit more when Cloud opened his eyes and they were shining a brilliant green just as bright as the orb he was holding.

"Cloud!?" He gaped as he realized just what the blond was doing. He wasn't just casting. He was **charging **the Materia.

A Materia's power was revealed by its shine. Cloud had been holding a low level Fire, now it was glowing so bright that it _had_ to be mastered. Only Sephiroth had been able to successfully charge a Materia and the man wasn't known for relying on them. To do this maneuver, the person casting had to have enough focus and willpower to match the knowledge held within the orb.

"Shit! Cast it!" He yelled out in warning. Zack didn't want to see his friend reduced to an empty shell because of a foolish feat. Cadets were only taught it was a possibility when those in SOLDIER were made privy that it could be done. Cloud's glowing green eyes lifted to regard the open air in front of him before he breathed the fire spell. The roar of the Fire 3 spell ripped through the air as it scorched the area in front of the them, ripping the dry earth up and charring the stone. The blond exhaled slowly as his eyes returned to normal. The Materia in his hand remained glowing brightly, mastered. Zack ran the distance separating them and placed his hands on Cloud's shoulders.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?! What were you thinking!? You…" Zack's voice trailed and cut off at the puzzled and slightly scared expression on the cadet's face. The SOLDIER froze and hesitated.

"You…weren't even trying to charge it, were you?" He asked breathlessly. Cloud's eyes lowered.

"I knew the theory, but I really wasn't. When I reached in for the magic, it grabbed a hold of me and didn't let go until I forced it out. It reacted to me, somehow," he murmured. "It wasn't hostile though. The magic wanted me to hold it. It's strange." Zack let go of the blond and stared at the shining orb.

"…We're in over our heads, Cloud. I need to tell Angeal about this. He might know what to do," Zack insisted. The blond's grip around the Materia tightened.

"You said you could keep my secret," The blond murmured. Zack's mouth twisted and he let out a frustrated breath.

"This is bigger than me. I can't protect you alone… Maybe if Angeal knew, he might have a game plan. As you are…well…" Zack stopped talking and fidgeted.

"What are you talking about?" The blond asked softly.

"The exam has Materia involved and they can't administer mako without testing your blood first…" Zack breathed. Cloud's eyes widened in realization.

"I can't take the SOLDIER exam," the blond whispered and he grimaced, "I can't become a SOLDIER. What am I going to do now?" His dream…Zack had said to not give up on it, but now it seemed impossible.

"At least, not through the normal means." Zack's voice sounded more sure of himself. Cloud looked at the other teenager.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean? How else am I supposed to get into SOLDIER?" He questioned. Zack smiled and patted the cadet on the back.

"I'm not quite sure right now, but if the impossible _can_ be pulled off, it would have to be those three doing it," The sable haired teenager answered with a sudden grin.

"Three? Are you talking about Angeal, Genesis, and the General?" Cloud asked in confusion.

"Yeah," Zack nodded. "I'm sure they would be able to pull this off somehow." Cloud hesitated and then sighed, seeing no way to deflect his friend's reasoning. But…

"Could you give me a week? Before you tell the General and the Commanders?" Cloud asked. Zack paused but then smiled.

"Sure, I can give you that. As long as you keep playing down your abilities and keeping your helmet on, I see no problem." He walked over to the discarded helmet and handed it to Cloud. "Just be careful, okay?"

Cloud nodded. "I will. I promise, Zack."

"As for that…you better keep it. We don't want to raise suspicion by returning a mastered Materia," Zack told him. The blond pocketed the Materia and picked up the Shinra issued sword before handing it to Zack. The SOLDIER smiled and sheathed it.

"Don't worry, Cloud. We'll find a way to protect you."

As they made their way back to the towering metropolis, Cloud glanced over to the smiling teenager at his side. He definitely needed to carry out his secret mission that the other Zack from his dreams had given him. That broken state that his friend had been reduced to couldn't happen. He had to save the Commanders and to do that, he needed to go to the Science Department and risk himself. He silently apologized to Zack Fair for putting himself in danger when all the other wanted to do was to protect him.

A week should be enough to carry out his plan.

* * *

><p>Genesis Rhapsodos collapsed on top on his lover and sighed at the sticky feeling. While he enjoyed the Turk inside him from this angle, he had known that this was merely a distraction. Tseng's fingers lightly touched his unhealed shoulder.<p>

"Hollander hasn't found a solution yet?" The normally stoic Turk Commander asked softly. Genesis' blue-grey eyes met the dark eyes of his forbidden love.

"No, that man insists that these appointments would help, but alas…" He murmured. Tseng's arms moved around him in a silent embrace. Genesis' thoughts darkened.

It would not be long before he deserted his dear lover and friends if the wound did not heal. Though his lover was loyal to Shinra, he hated the company that twisted he and Angeal and Sephiroth, dictating how they should lead their lives.

A war was coming. And Genesis wasn't sure which side he wanted to win.

**To be Continued…**

**Author's Notes: Yes, I know. ^_^;; This was mostly a character development chapter. And just so you know, I don't hate Tifa at all. I just think her and Cloud's relationship was forged mostly after the Nibelhiem incident. Also, if you can tell me if it is going too fast, just right, or too slow in your opinion, please tell me that. Also, I will answer long reviews or reviews that ask questions. I hope you enjoyed it and please leave a review! **


	4. Chapter 4

Anxious Heart

Rating: Mature

Pairings: SephirothxCloud, AngealxZack, RudexReno TsengxGenesis

Warnings: Yaoi, Shonen Ai, Lemons, Time Traveling, Smut of varying degrees, Memory loss, Angst, Hojo and Dark themes.

Summary: Cloud Strife is sent back to his cadet days with his veteran abilities, but no memory of his future. What does this mean for him? For the entire Planet? Can you forge happiness from misery? SephxCloud. AngealxZack. RudexReno. TsengxGenesis.

Author's Note: Thank you so much for all of the lovely reviews! Beta'ed by x-YaoiWolf-x.

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><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

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><p>Cloud Strife sat in his bunk until noon the following Wednesday. The barracks were void of cadets today. In order to boost morale, Director Lazard had made an announcement on Monday that all the cadets and infantrymen had today off. It wasn't exactly a secret as to why the Director had chosen to do this. Even the lowliest cadet knew that tensions between Wutai and the ShinRa Electric Power Company were at an all-time high. This little vacation to boost morale was likely the last chance a lot of cadets had to have fun. Kalm was holding its annual festival, so most of Cloud's peers had traveled there for the day. It had been well over two hours since the last cadet had disappeared through the doors to the barracks and yet still, Cloud had not moved.<p>

To be utterly honest with himself, the blond teen was afraid. He had gone over his plan numerous times in his head to see if there wasn't something that he could do to make this less of a risk, but the youth couldn't find anything that he could change. A lot of this would depend on luck, but even if he was successful and completed this mission that the Other Zack had given him, he wasn't out of danger. An investigation was surely to follow if anything out of the ordinary was noticed. Plus, the cadet had no idea how this would affect his Commanders. All of these unknown factors had Cloud hesitating. He inhaled slowly, shining eyes worried behind his visor.

_I need to move now, _He thought,_ I need to do this regardless of how it might turn out._

The cadet got to his feet and walked to the chest six bunks from his own. It belonged to Cadet Reisen, the only other cadet that was anywhere near the height of the blond. Cloud opened the chest at the end of the bunker and pulled the spare top from the other cadet's belongings. The only difference between the two standard issued shirts was that his had 'Strife' on the shoulder and the other cadet's shirt read 'Reisen'. It was the only way a non-enhanced person could identify them in full uniform without having them take off their helmets. It was also the only way Cloud could think of to fool the cameras if he happened to be noticed.

The cadet closed the chest and went back to his own bunk. He paused for a moment to listen for any indication that someone was approaching the barracks. Hearing nothing, the youth pulled off his helmet and changed out of his navy blue top into Reisen's. He replaced his helmet and finally left the barracks.

Cloud walked through the series of hallways that made up the standard military unit of ShinRa's building until he reached the infirmary. He peered in and found most of the personnel missing. It wasn't unusual seeing as it was around lunchtime, but Cloud didn't want to be lured into a false sense of security. There might still be a few nurses and doctors inside. Cloud had been in the infirmary a few times due to his scuffles with the bullies, so he knew the rough layout of the place. He walked past a few occupied rooms, his boots not making a sound as he let his body slip into its more natural movement. It was a relief because on a normal day, the blond cadet had to slow his body and make it seem clumsy.

He paused at the door that was his destination and listened briefly before entering the supply room. Inside, Cloud found one of the biohazard containers and filled it so it had weight before sealing it. He activated the light on it and then stealthily exited the infirmary. Once free of the twisting hallways, the blond cadet waited for the elevator and chose the 59th floor. It was the last floor before things got tricky. Cloud had worried over this part the most. But as he had practiced on 3rd Class SOLDIERs, making sure to drop their belongings where they might be found and returned, Cloud realized that he somehow knew how to pickpocket those men without them realizing. Where he had obtained this knowledge, he didn't know.

On unenhanced personnel, it would be a cakewalk to obtain higher level keycards. The only risks that presented themselves were the surveillance cameras and if he came across any Turks. He wasn't sure where the President and his son were today. It was possible that they weren't even on base, but Cloud wouldn't be foolish enough to assume anything. Turks were in the building at all times and were a threat. As much of a threat as Hojo was.

As the elevator slowly ascended the ShinRa building, the blond took the quiet moment to try to sort out his feelings. Feelings that he had naturally and those that seemed to come from elsewhere. He knew that he was dreaming of things in the future and had two voices in his head that advised him through dreams and sometimes during his waking hours.

Was it safe to say that they were from the future?

What had happened?

The glowing eyes behind the helmet visor narrowed on the heightening number on the display above him. Nothing was certain for him anymore. He didn't even know if the Commanders and General would be sympathetic to his cause. Cloud didn't know if he would ever achieve his dream. Even this mission was an uncertainty. But he had to continue on. There was a drive, a need within him to push onwards no matter what the future had in store.

The elevator halted and the doors opened out onto the lounge. There weren't many here, but Cloud immediately spotted a hassled looking ShinRa employee in a brown suit that was hurrying to the elevator. Cloud moved forward, one hand clamped around the biohazard container, the other loose and hanging at his side as they passed at the same moment through the narrow door, bumping lightly.

The man didn't even pause or speak to him, attention immediately on the buttons for the floors, pressing one frantically. Cloud slipped the key card into his pocket without missing a beat and didn't even glance back. Only the small exhalation of breath gave away his tension. He had what he needed. Now he had to brave the belly of the beast.

He felt anxious and was reasonably scared. The cadet didn't want to go anywhere near the Science Department. There were enough horror stories about Hojo to fuel nightmares and that other part of Cloud, the voice present in his mind, felt that the scientist was someone to be feared and hated.

But he had to...

Zack's broken crying filtered through his memory along with the sound of rain and the broken body of the proud Commander. Genesis falling into darkness. He wouldn't let that happen.

He ascended a few floors on foot before finally reaching the one that he needed. The blond was stopped at the desk by a young looking receptionist.

"What is your business in this department, Cadet... Reisen?" She asked after glimpsing the stolen uniform top's nameplate. Cloud sat the biohazard container down on the desk, turning it so the warning light was facing the woman.

"Research material from the field for Professor Hollander. I was told to deliver this directly to his and his colleague's labs. It is time sensitive," The cadet explained shortly. The woman looked nervous and gestured to him.

"Of course! Be quick about it!" She said with a fake smile, eyes on the container like it might explode at any moment. Cloud nodded and retrieved it before going down the hallway. It was there that he paused and hit his first obstacle that he hadn't anticipated. There were two doors, both to a lab. Each had a lock on them requiring a passcode.

"Fuck…" He cursed underneath his breath, glowing eyes on the devices. He didn't have a password for either door. How would he proceed?

"**Three tries is all we have before we are locked out and security called."**

That was his own voice. The blond had taken to calling the other version of him Older Cloud. He approached the heavy metal door that was on the left. The plate above the passcode device displayed Professor Hojo's name.

"**Jenova," **Older Cloud suggested.

The cadet typed it in and the light flashed red. No good. There was a long pause before the other spoke again.

"**Sephiroth is too obvious. Try Promised Land."**

Cadet Strife typed it in and this time the indicator flashed green, followed by a clicking noise. He breathed a sigh of relief and pushed the door open to allow him in. The entire lab was dim and there were some rumbling noises from the back that didn't sound particularly friendly. He froze just inside the doorway and he gasped as he felt his mind stutter, one hand coming up to tear off the helmet, his blue eyes blazing. The pupils constricted slightly, phasing between rounded and slits. What was happening?!

"**Don't panic. Can you hear the call?"**

"C-Call...?" Cloud asked in a soft tenor. No answer was forthcoming but the cadet held the helmet close to him as he tried to get his bearings. There was something calling him, though he couldn't be sure what it was. He swallowed and moved forward, ignoring the specimens that growled at him when he got close. The blond stopped in front of a refrigerated unit and pressed tentative fingers against the transparent glass, glowing eyes on the blackened vials of blood lined within. The... blood? Confusion crossed his features and his gloved fingers curled against the glass.

"I want answers when this is finished. Will you answer them?" He whispered. There was another pregnant pause.

"**We will answer what we can."**

Okay, that was something at least. Cloud replaced his helmet, still feeling the pull deep in his mind as he reached within and grabbed a vial, hoping to Gaia that it wouldn't be noticed missing. He cradled it to him and stepped away from the container. One down, one more to go. The cadet picked up the biohazard container he had dropped by the door and exited Hojo's lab. His troubled mako eyes rested on the only obstacle in his way now. It was the Other Zack that spoke now, confidently.

"**Angeal."**

The light flashed green immediately and Cloud's eyes widened at the unexpected success. He entered the lab and quickly located the mako chamber designed specifically for this lab. The hatch to it opened at the press of the button and the blond unstopped the vial within his grasp, trembling as he emptied the blood within into the mako supply.

Okay, he had done what he had set out to do, all the blond could do was hope that this spared the Commanders their fates. He disposed of the vial and biohazard container within the waste disposal in the lab. It might draw suspicion but it was better than carrying them back out past the receptionist.

Cloud forced his stride to be casual as he exited the lab and returned to the elevator. Once the door closed, the cadet crumpled to the floor, a light sheen of sweat on him as he shivered. The high from the call he received was fading, leaving him a bundle of nerves.

"**Great work, Spiky. I am proud of you," **The Other Zack praised.

"Will it work?" He murmured in return, shakily returning to his feet.

"**It has to, it was the only way."**

"And the blood? Whose was it? And why did it make me feel like that?" He asked quietly.

"**Sephiroth's****,****" **both voices answered at once. Cloud's eyes widened behind the helmet.

"The General's?" He gasped.

"**Yes. And you will likely have a stronger reaction to him in person."**

"Why...?"

Silence. Cloud's brows furrowed, frustration running through him.

"Why?!" He demanded. Was that really all that they were going to answer? Just one question?

"Why won't you tell me?" He asked in a softer tone.

"**Suffice it to say that you have an unshakable bond with Sephiroth," **The voice said at last. Cloud frowned. That was hardly an explanation.

But…

The elevator 'dinged' merrily to allow him to return to the barracks.

He had always wanted to be noticed by the General, but never felt like he deserved it. He was just a cadet, not even one of the man's SOLDIERs. Cloud respected and admired Sephiroth. And even a country boy like himself wouldn't deny an attraction. Now they had a connection as well?

He could only hope that Sephiroth would help him.

* * *

><p>Two days later was the same old song and dance for Angeal and Genesis Rhapsodos. They suspected the same for Sephiroth as their check-ups usually fell on the same day; Mako injections, tests, and the normal rabble. Hollander moved around them, asking frequent questions, especially with Genesis about his wound that refused to heal.<p>

"There has been no change, Professor. I have told you numerous times already," The auburn haired 1st stated firmly. The Professor sighed and then gathered two syringes of mako to continue with the check-up.

When they both got injected and given a clean bill of health, Angeal stood and moved towards the door, dialing Zack on his PHS. A loud crash behind him had the older man spinning on the spot. His eyes widened and he dropped the phone to get to Genesis, whose body was seizing violently on the ground.

"Genesis!" Angeal yelled, hands hovering over the jerking body uncertainly. Black liquid began seeping from the red head's mouth, nose, and eyes; staining the ground. Angeal gritted his teeth as his vision began to blur and limbs began trembling. He lifted glowing hazel eyes to Professor Hollander, a trail of black streaking down his face.

"What have you _done_?!" He hissed before slumping forward, eyes rolling. Frantic shouts from Angeal's open phone hit the brief silence before Professor Hollander could shake himself from his shocked stupor.

"H-HELP! HELP!" He cried, hitting the emergency button on the wall to summon Hojo, who eventually came with Sephiroth in tow. By that time both Commanders had stopped seizing, but were still unconscious. The silver haired man immediately began checking them over as Hojo smirked at a now pale looking Hollander.

"I am guessing things finally went wrong, Hollander?" Hojo asked with a disconcerting smile. The other Professor held his tongue and motioned to Genesis and Angeal with a helpless expression. Hojo sighed and went to them.

"Out of the way, boy," He hissed at Sephiroth, who reluctantly moved. Sephiroth was puzzled about the black substance oozing from his friends and was truly worried. He blinked when his enhanced hearing distinctly picked up swearing and crying in a tinny version of Zack Fair's voice. His emerald eyes fell on the open phone and he picked it up.

"Zack," He cut in and there was a relieved sob.

"Sephiroth! Is Angeal okay?! Please! What's happening?" The 2nd Class SOLDIER asked, his voice desperate. Feline emerald eyes trailed to both of his Commanders and friends uncertainly.

"They are being looked after now," He answered, unsure of what words to choose to comfort Angeal's lover. There was movement on the phone.

"Where are you, General?" Zack asked in a steely tone, one that Sephiroth had never heard from the cheerful pup. He frowned at this.

"Zack, you would only-" There was a loud moan and Sephiroth's gaze cut to Genesis, who was struggling to sit up. He looked exhausted, black stains on his face, but his grey eyes were cautious and confused.

"Hold on, Zack," Sephiroth murmured. There was a protest but he cut the other off with, "that is an order." He held the PHS away from his ear and approached the group of men, watching intently.

"How are you feeling, Commander Rhapsodos?" Hojo asked clinically, beady eyes on the auburn haired SOLDIER. Genesis blinked at the other man before frowning and looking at Angeal, who had begun to stir, in concern. Hojo waited impatiently as Angeal brought himself back to his senses. Both men looked confused.

"What happened?" Angeal asked Hollander, who was wringing his hands. Hojo directed his attention to the other scientist, his patience now gone.

"Well? What did you do differently, Hollander?" He asked, disdain in his voice.

"I-I didn't do anything differently! I swear!" Hollander cried, taking a step back. He hated Hojo but was also intimidated by the man. Anyone would be once you really knew what the other was capable of. The Head of the Science Department sneered.

"I think you are lying. You were trying to best me, weren't you?"

"No!" Hollander cried, paling.

Genesis said something quietly to Angeal and Sephiroth, drawing both of the Professor's attention.

"What was that, Rhapsodos?" Hojo asked. Genesis' glowing eyes flickered between the scientists before he reiterated what he had said, only louder.

"I said 'it doesn't hurt anymore'," The Commander repeated in a soft tenor. Hollander's eyes widened in realization, whereas Hojo looked impatient.

"What exactly doesn't hurt anymore?" He snapped. Hollander helped the red head to his feet and Genesis reluctantly shrugged off his red leather coat, the scientist pushing the black top up to expose his back where an angry and blackening gash had refused to heal.

Only now there was nothing but smooth flawless skin. Like it had never been there at all.

"Explain! You are wasting my time here, Hollander," Hojo said in a dark tone. He was irritated that everyone in the room seemed to think this development was a relief and that the greasy haired scientist had been left out of the loop.

"There had been a wound here that refused to heal, no matter what level of mako I injected. He had it for four months and now it's just... vanished," Hollander said in wonder.

Hojo perked up and scanned the Commander's back. So the degradation had stopped? He had known that the instability of the Jenova cells within his colleague's experiments would eventually result in their deaths. But now that degradation had ceased...? Hojo's expression darkened and his eyes snapped to Sephiroth, who was handing the PHS to Angeal.

There was only one way that the degradation could be stopped. Had Sephiroth had intercourse with these men? No... That didn't fit. Both men had collapsed at the same time. His dark gaze went to the mako tank and then to Hollander.

"You didn't steal anything from my lab, did you, Hollander?" He accused in a menacing tone. The other man flinched back as if struck.

"No! I don't even know your passcode, Hojo. I wouldn't steal from you!" The man swore. Hojo frowned.

"We shall see. I want a full investigation launched. I am sure that you won't mind if I took a sample from the mako tank...?" Hojo asked, taking out an empty vial. Hollander nodded his head.

"I don't mind at all. Go ahead. I want to know what has happened as well."

Interesting response. It sounded like Hollander hadn't done anything. Well, they would see... Hojo extracted some of the glowing mako from the tank and pocketed it. He would have to scan his lab to see if anything was missing. He returned his attention to the trio of friends that were standing together, watching their exchange silently.

"I will have to ask for a blood sample from both of your wards, Hollander. More tests need to be conducted as well. Sephiroth, you are free to go," He said dismissively. The General shook his head.

"No, Professor. I would like to be present while the tests are run. They are my friends and I want to know what happened to them," Sephiroth said in a firm tone. Hojo shrugged.

"Suit yourself, boy," He returned carelessly before calling up the Turks to send someone to his labs immediately. She arrived quickly, soft brown eyes alert and long brown hair cascading down her shoulders. Cissnei nodded to Sephiroth before going to Hojo to receive a briefing and list of things in the man's lab. She checked the file silently before leaving as quietly as she had come to take inventory and question the personnel in the department.

While that was happening, Angeal and Genesis were put through vigorous paces by both Hojo and Hollander. And the results were... spectacular, Hollander noted. Both men had been steadily declining in performance and there were times that they would say something and then promptly forget that statement right afterwards. The latter happened rarely, but none of that was evident now. Their physical performance was up as well.

The tests lasted until the evening before everyone was finally released. As soon as they were in the elevator and out of ear shot, they began to speak quietly to each other.

"Are you certain that you feel alright?" Sephiroth asked them both. Genesis smiled sadly.

"Never better," He stated, though deep down guilt was eating at him. He had been planning on deserting ShinRa once the war hit because of the unhealable wound. The redhead had wanted to take the company down with him in retribution. Sure, it had been a training accident but ultimately ShinRa was behind it all. But now...? Genesis wasn't sure what to do. He was more than reluctant to leave his friends behind now that he didn't have a reason to go. There was also Tseng...

"Zack is probably having a conniption by now. But I am fine, Sephiroth," Angeal answered with a wan smile. Sephiroth eyed them both and nodded. He trusted that they would tell him if anything was truly wrong. They ascended the building together, all of them tired from today's ordeal. Genesis got out of the elevator first on the Turk floor and gave them a brief wave before the doors shut.

"Don't worry about us, Sephiroth. I have a feeling that things are going to be alright," Angeal said softly. Sephiroth's feline eyes went to his friend.

"Angeal... What do you think of dreams? Not the aspiring kind, but the type that you have at night whilst sleeping?" The silver haired man questioned. Angeal pulled his attention away from the floor buttons and looked at his friend questioningly.

"Why, Seph? Have you had an odd dream?"

Sephiroth's expression was puzzled, but solemn. Angeal hit the stop button so the elevator halted.

"I dreamt of a blond warrior wreathed in flames. He spoke to me like he really knew me and he was warning me away from Hojo. He said that Hojo was telling me lies. Ever since then I have been questioning everything the man has told me. About him being my father... about who my mother really is..." Sephiroth said in a soft tone. Angeal's eyes softened.

"You had that dream for a reason. Perhaps you were subconsciously thinking such things before the dream brought them to light?" The 1st Class SOLDIER questioned. The General hummed but then hesitated.

"What is it?" Angeal asked lightly. Sephiroth's eyes strayed to the side, the vivid glow there considering.

"There... is a cadet that looked just like the man in my dream, except younger. A Cadet Strife. I am certain I have never seen him before, Angeal. Yet I saw him in my dream and then happened upon his file the following day. What could that mean?" he questioned in a soft wondering tone. Angeal stroked the stubble on his chin in thought, frowning.

"You had never seen him before? You're sure?" The Commander asked. The silver haired man smiled ironically.

"Never. I am sure of it."

Angeal paused and then sighed.

"I can't tell you what that might mean. If you are sure you have never seen him before, then there was no way he could've shown up in your dream. Have you sought the cadet out?" The long haired SOLDIER questioned. Sephiroth shook his head and then frowned.

"I... I want to. But I thought I might be taking the dream too seriously. Am I?" The General asked, lifting his eyes to Angeal in askance. The other man shook his head after a moment.

"I think you should be wary and not trust a thing Hojo says if your instincts are telling you this dream was important," His friend answered and Sephiroth nodded.

"And the cadet?" The silver haired man asked after a moment of silence. Angeal smiled, hitting the elevator button so that they ascended once more.

"That is your call, Sephiroth. I can't tell you what to do there," The Commander answered and Sephiroth nodded. A few moments passed before Angeal got off on his floor, throwing a friendly salute to his longtime friend with a reassurance that he was, indeed, fine.

Sephiroth stared at the closed door and then the buttons before pressing floor 10 on impulse.

* * *

><p>Worried hands caressed his stained face, running along his jawline while plush lips pressed numerous kisses to his. Angeal held Zack's smaller body to his own, having caught the distraught 2nd Class up in his arms as soon as he had entered his apartment. He deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue past his lover's lips and caressing the other's tongue in an attempt to distract him. Zack was having none of that though and the youth pulled back with a gasp.<p>

"'Geal... I was so worried. What happened?" He asked, azure glowing eyes looking up into his mentor's face. Angeal sighed and smiled reassuringly.

"There was a mishap in the lab, but it had a happy outcome. You know how I told you that I felt odd lately and that Genesis was hurt?" Zack nodded. "Well, everything is fine now. We're all better. They are just going to investigate how it happened."

There was naked relief on the teen's face and his lips pulled up in a smile.

"I'm so glad," Zack's expression suddenly changed to something wary and slightly distressed, "oh... about the labs... Angeal..."

"Yes, pup?" The 1st Class SOLDIER asked softly, wondering what was troubling Zack.

"I have a friend that needs your help desperately. Yours, Genesis', and Sephiroth's. Something very unusual happened to him and he is afraid Hojo will sink his claws into him and he'll disappear into the labs," Zack was holding onto him loosely. Angeal frowned, expression suddenly serious.

"What happened to him?" He questioned. Zack smiled sheepishly, helplessly.

"Well... he sorta… wokeupenhanced," Zack rushed out. Angeal blinked and took a moment to untangle the words, which made no sense.

"He... woke up enhanced? Are you sure he hasn't already...?"

Zack shook his head.

"No, he hasn't. He swears. He's really scared, 'Geal. And that isn't the end of it. If it was just that, I might think that he's already been to the labs, but there's more," He told his lover, who frowned.

"More?"

"Yes. Like, I took him out of Midgar to see what he could do. He picked up a sword and told me it was unbalanced and then claimed to never have even held a sword before, much less trained. He then beat me with just one strike and said he hadn't even used his full strength. He even charged a Fire Materia until it was Mastered. He's amazing, Angeal!" Zack said excitedly.

Angeal however, was more suspicious and alarmed. He didn't understand it. How could someone have that knowledge? Those abilities?

"You trust him? Who is he?" Angeal asked seriously. Zack took in his expression and frowned.

"Angeal... Please promise that you'll help him. I do trust him and I believe him. Promise me. I don't want to see him disappear," He insisted stubbornly. The SOLDIER hesitated.

"...You are certain?" He asked. Zack nodded vigorously.

"I am. Promise, Angeal."

"I promise... Who is it?"

Zack smiled.

"His name is Cloud Strife."

Angeal's eyes widened and he froze. Could there be more than one Strife in the military?

_Just what is happening here...?_

* * *

><p>Sephiroth stood at a window on the tenth floor, emerald eyes intent on the running track below. The General was both mesmerized and confused. It was the dead of night now and there was only one person doing circuits on the track.<p>

The person was lightning quick, their body moving fluidly, gracefully, as they ate up ground, running as if someone was after them but assured in their speed to escape. But that person was wearing a cadet uniform. They even had their helmet on still. Curious, Sephiroth descended the stairs on this floor to get to the ground level.

As soon as he exited the door, the runner ground to an abrupt halt and Sephiroth was suddenly assailed by the most delicious and exciting feeling that he had ever been subject to. There was a yearning in him, a tug towards the person who stood motionless on the track. Nothing that the alluring female voice in his dreams could offer him could compare to this feeling of need that coursed through his very being.

The cadet took a few halting steps towards him, one hand reached up to his helmet while the other stretched towards Sephiroth. Glowing feline eyes darkened with desire and he began striding towards the cadet. The General closed the distance between them as if magnetized, his gloved hands moving to slide up the shorter youth's arms. The smaller body jerked as if delivered an electric shock.

The nameplate just above his caressing hand read 'Strife.'

"It's you..." Sephiroth breathed, captivated.

* * *

><p>Cloud had been totally unprepared for Sephiroth to interrupt his night time run. Ever since he had snuck into the lab, he had been unable to rest properly and had taken to exercising when no one else was awake.<p>

And he surely hadn't been ready for _this._He was nearly delirious with need, his entire being ignited by the General's mere presence. When he was touched, his glowing eyes rolled back and he gasped. The man's baritone ran through his system and he was trembling.

Gaia, there was nothing like this...

"...one..." Cloud whispered to the man, who focused on his lips peeking from between his helmet and green scarf, "one... with you."

Sephiroth's hands eased up his back and the other leaned down, their lips meshing together desperately. The overwhelming need to be pressed against the silver haired man with nothing separating them came over Cloud and he moaned into the kiss. Their tongues twined in the open air before they both leaned in to kiss each other deeply, the small blond arching into the larger man's body.

The shrill sound of a PHS ringing broke the spell and Cloud jerked back as if stung. He yanked out of Sephiroth's arms, eyes widening. What was he _doing_? He was attracted to his General and the attention wasn't unwanted at all, but his cover? Had Zack talked to them yet? Was he safe with Sephiroth?

A hand was placed on his shoulder, those feline eyes looking at him imploringly. Cloud shook his helmeted head at the man and stepped back.

The PHS continued to ring.

"Are you repulsed by my attention, Cloud?" Sephiroth asked lightly, using the other male's first name in hopes to appeal to him.

"No. Of course not," The soft tenor answered.

"Then why pull away?" He asked softly.

"Has Zack...?" Cloud began, but cut himself off at the confused light that entered the silver haired man's eyes.

"Has Zack what?"

It wasn't safe yet. Sephiroth didn't know.

"I'm sorry!" Cloud breathed before turning on his heel and fleeing at the same lightning pace that he had used before.

Sephiroth wanted to take chase, find out more about his cadet, but that damn phone was still ringing. He answered it, his voice frost bitingly cold. This had better be important.

"What?!" He snapped.

"Sephiroth," It was Angeal. "Zack and I need to talk to you and Genesis. Could you meet us?"

Feline green eyes trailed to where he had seen Cloud disappear. The other had asked him about Zack. He would get answers tonight.

"Of course," He answered.

* * *

><p>To be Continued…<p>

Author's Notes: Wow, a ton happened in this chapter! But I wanted to do a lot with it so it turned out like I wanted. So Cloud and Sephiroth met! Nicely, if I do say so myself. XD And Genesis and Angeal are free. But we still have a lot to worry about. Please leave a review!

Beta Note: Apologies, everyone, for the delay and previous unbeta'd version of this chapter! I'm sorry! My computer ate the first revised chapter. Or well, it kind of saved it in a nonexistent location. How? I don't know, but I was pissed. SO! I went back and did the whole thing again and now, here it is, perfectly fixed up and read over and I'm pretty sure I caught everything for all you wonderful people who read Wolfess' works! I'm off to beta the next chapter of Reawakening, so if you read that, look forward to it! Much Love to all you amazing peeps who support WolfessSanu! Continue to do so! :D

Author's Note 2: Awesome beta is AWESOME! 333


	5. Chapter 5

Anxious Heart

Rating: Mature

Pairings: SephirothxCloud, AngealxZack, RudexReno TsengxGenesis

Warnings: Yaoi, Shonen Ai, Lemons, Time Traveling, Smut of varying degrees, Memory loss, Angst, Hojo and Dark themes.

Summary: Cloud Strife is sent back to his cadet days with his veteran abilities, but no memory of his future. What does this mean for him? For the entire Planet? Can you forge happiness from misery? SephxCloud. AngealxZack. RudexReno. TsengxGenesis.

Author's Note: Thank you so much for all of the lovely reviews! Beta'ed by x-YaoiWolf-x.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

* * *

><p>Sephiroth wanted nothing more than to locate Cadet Strife, but he had a feeling that his advances would only push Cloud away when the General wanted nothing more than to draw him ever closer. His mind and body were singing with wonder and need. A need that he had never experienced before. The General was in new territory now, but he loved to both learn and be challenged. Even if he only had professional encounters with both women and men, none of them had ignited such desire and need within him as just a single lip lock with that young cadet. He wanted the boy. The silver haired man just knew he was special; just like him.<p>

He curtailed this need with logic. Sephiroth needed to know what he was dealing with and it seemed that Zack might have some information.

He entered the elevator and pressed the floor for the 1st Class lodgings after sliding his key card through. His feline eyes had a faraway look in them as his mind stayed riveted on that cadet. The boy had responded so favorably to him, as if pulled by instinct. Like they had a connection.

Was the man that warned him in the dream tied at all to the reality of Cloud Strife? The boy had seemed hesitant in his presence, young and pliant in his arms. It didn't matter though. Whether the innocent or the warrior, Cloud Strife would be his. The need to take the boy into his arms and never let him go was strong. Did Angeal feel anything like this for his puppy? Was it normal to feel this way?

No, he decided. No, it wasn't. But normal didn't often occur in his life. He had been raised in the labs, was different, faster, stronger than his peers. He knew he desired Cadet Strife, knew he wanted to keep him. The mystery surrounding the teen was just as strong as the pull from earlier. Sephiroth wanted to know everything about him.

The elevator opened to allow him access to the floor that housed his, Angeal's, and Genesis' apartments, He knocked on Angeal's door, which was answered immediately by the owner of the living space. Glowing hazel eyes appraised him briefly before the large SOLDIER moved aside to let him in. The door was immediately locked multiple times behind him and Sephiroth immediately noticed the tense atmosphere of the room. Zack was fidgeting on the couch, mako eyes darting from Angeal to Genesis to his General. The boy was nervous but calmed a little when Angeal took a seat beside him, slinging a muscled arm around his pup.

Genesis smoothly took a seat and Sephiroth took the only remaining one, emerald eyes on Zack. He wanted to order answers from the boy, but had an inkling that they would be talking about Cloud anyways. It was too much of a coincidence that Cloud mention Zack and then he be called here. He also wouldn't do Angeal the injustice of scaring his young lover.

"Well...? What is this impromptu meeting about Angeal?" The red haired man questioned after silence had taken the air for a long moment. Zack sat up straighter, a determined look in his eyes as he gathered his courage.

"I have a friend that is in dire need of protection that only you three can provide. Something unusual happened to him and he's afraid that he'll disappear into the Science Department if his secret gets out. He's... His name is Cloud. Cloud Strife. He's a cadet here in the SOLDIER program," Zack explained, blue eyes searching Genesis and Sephiroth's faces.

The silver haired General felt a wild anger surge through him, a protectiveness that he was sure he wasn't capable of, but he kept his face smooth and placid. The thought of Hojo touching his cadet in anyway incited such blistering hatred for the man, but... Why would Cloud fear Hojo?

"What is the situation?" Sephiroth asked, voice calm. Zack frowned.

"It 's a little complicated..." He trailed off a bit when Angeal made a soft incredulous sound in the back of this throat. "Okay... maybe the most complicated thing I have ever encountered, alright? It's confusing, and Cloud is still trying to puzzle it out, but he said that he woke up enhanced not too long ago, no reason, nothing to cause it. It just happened."

Genesis snorted.

"Becoming enhanced is a complicated process that only the scientists are privy to. One does not simply 'wake up' enhanced," The grey eyed man stated, though there was curiosity and a small amount of confusion in his gaze. Sephiroth tilted his head, intrigued.

"Enhanced to what extent?" He questioned and Genesis shot his General and friend a shocked look. Sephiroth could tell he had surprised the other man with not trying to immediately debunk what Zack had told them as he had done. The spiky haired youth looked suddenly hopeful, locking gazes with Sephiroth. He was one of the few that dared or felt comfortable enough with him to be so bold.

"The shine in his eyes easily rivals yours, Sir. He has to be on a 1st Class SOLDIER level of enhancement, if not more," The youth told them.

The vision of the warrior with spiky blond hair staring into his eyes with blazing mako irises caused an excited flip in Sephiroth's stomach. A soft sound from Zack drew the silver haired man's attention immediately back.

"And that isn't all, Sir. There are other discrepancies in his behavior and skill level. But hear me out, please. I believe Cloud's story and I trust him. He isn't a threat. He's just terribly confused and needs someone to stand by him. Please try to believe me when I tell you this, okay?" Zack implored, eyes earnest. Angeal's grip on the boy tightened while Sephiroth and Genesis leaned forward a bit more.

Zack Fair's instincts concerning a person's trustworthiness or their nature, even if they tried to hide it, were very keen. He had never been wrong before and that was worth some merit.

"Continue, Fair," Sephiroth prompted, feline eyes intent. Zack nodded, falling into a more professional assessment of Cloud's abilities out of habit when in the General's presence.

"Thus far, Cloud has displayed an uncanny knack for swordplay and Materia, but claims no prior knowledge of either. He also revealed an unprecedented knowledge of equipment, sensing that the sword that I gave him before our spar was unbalanced and likely to break if he used his full strength. He bested me in two strikes. He is fast, nimble, and comfortable with a sword. Though his body did seem to move in an odd way, like he was used to a different... not weapon, just sword. When he used a Materia, he didn't merely cast, he charged it until completely Mastered," Zack stopped, searching them for any signs of disbelief. Surprisingly, only Genesis seemed doubtful, but Sephiroth was good at hiding his emotions, so the 2nd Class wasn't sure how he was feeling.

"He has to be lying about something, Zack. There is no way he could know those skills without prior and careful training," Genesis said after a length of silence. Zack shook his head frantically, his hands waving animatedly in the air.

"No! Please, you have to listen to me. Cloud is telling the truth. Everything about him screams it. He needs this, please..." Zack trailed off, looking hopelessly at Angeal. Angeal's eyes softened at his puppy.

"Have you, or Cloud, thought of anything that might explain this... situation?" The taller man asked. Zack hesitated before he nodded meekly.

"Cloud has a theory that it might be something that the Planet did," He revealed, hoping with a small wince that it didn't seem as pathetic as it sounded. They had all been with ShinRa so long that the teen didn't know if they even entertained the notion of the study of the Planet. Genesis suddenly looked interested while Sephiroth merely frowned.

"The Planet?" Sephiroth asked quietly. The auburn haired SOLDIER leaned forward.

"You didn't take that mission to Cosmo Canyon with us, Sephiroth, because ShinRa didn't deem it necessary to send you in. They merely wanted us to talk to the Elders and leader of the Canyon to find out their studies on the Planet to see how it coincided with the terrorist group, AVALANCHE. Their views could damage ShinRa's image if it became too far spread. So the civilians and Elders were restricted to only teaching their views within Cosmo Canyon. Not that it stops terrorists within the city from trying to spread it," Genesis said at length.

Sephiroth steepled his fingers and leaned forward. This knowledge he did not know. And usually things that Shinra tried to keep from him were things that he wanted to learn most. If only as an act of defiance on his part.

"What is this study exactly?" He questioned, interested. There had to be some merit to it if his cadet had thought it to be the cause to his current problem. Cloud Strife was becoming more and more appealing to Sephiroth. Angeal smiled at his friend, knowing that the silver haired man loved to learn new information. After all, knowledge was power.

"It's not a popular view because it would hinder our current technology and way of life, but the Elders at Cosmo teach that everything on the Planet shares a spiritual energy. When that person, bird, tree, organism dies, it releases its spiritual energy and returns to the Planet. To the Lifestream, where everything gathers. That energy then travels the Planet until it is born again as something else. A constant cycle of life, death, and rebirth," Angeal explained, remembering the projection he had seen on Elder Bugenhagen's apparatus.

Genesis smiled slightly. "It is actually quite beautiful when you think about it, but there is that catch that ShinRa wants buried. When all spiritual energy, or mako, the Lifestream, all words work for it, disappears from the Planet, this cycle is disrupted and the Planet cannot survive. It would lay barren and die before crumbling to ashes."

"The reactors..." Zack spoke up, realization in his voice. Sephiroth nodded. Of course ShinRa would oppose this belief. Mako provided an easy life for everyone, gave the cities and towns their electricity, and it lined the pockets of officials within ShinRa. Greed would overpower every emotion along with the lust for power. Zack shot up from the couch, alarm on his face.

"You mean they injected us with dead people?!" He exclaimed. Angeal sighed, pinching his nose.

"No, pup. Not necessarily. The Lifestream consists of the life of everything that has passed and has yet to be reborn again. It is pure life. We have been granted the life of those people and things that have lived over and over again," The older man said softly. Zack turned glowing blue eyes on his lover, recognizing that gentle expression when the larger man tended to his plants.

"You... you believe it, don't you? The things they teach at Cosmo Canyon," Zack said wonderingly, eyes bright with emotion. Why would Angeal stay at ShinRa if he believed in those things? Sephiroth leaned forward, intent gaze going from one friend to the other. Genesis reached within his coat and touched the copy of Loveless within its fold, expression conflicted.

"Even if the morrow is barren of promises, nothing shall forestall my return. To become the dew that quenches the land. To spare the sands, the seas, the skies. I offer thee this silent sacrifice..." Genesis murmured. Sephiroth blinked. The verse sounded like it should be from Loveless, but those passages were not included.

"Genesis...?" Sephiroth asked in a quiet tone. The red haired man's lips quirked slightly, but sadly.

"My rendition of how Act Five should have been, if it was me. A beautiful, tragic ending for the aspiring hero, who turned out to be a monster in the end. I came up with it shortly after my visit to Cosmo Canyon. Their views touched me because they felt right. Plus, I have a bitterness towards ShinRa. Towards Hollander and secrets surely kept from me. To be utterly honest, I was... thinking of desertion should my wound never heal. I would seek the truth on my own without anyone pulling the strings," The Commander spoke softly.

Everyone in the room had frozen at the word 'desertion.' A SOLDIER did not simply desert the army. They were always hunted down and pronounced 'AWOL' or 'killed in action'. ShinRa didn't want any dishonorable discharges to stain their perfect visage. Genesis sighed, grey eyes trailing to Zack.

"We are getting off topic. How would the study of the Planet play into what has happened to Cloud Strife?" He questioned. Zack's expression fell.

"He didn't say. He just said that he felt that the Planet had caused it," The teen paused, "and I don't mean to contradict myself, but I feel that he hasn't completely opened up to me yet."

"You trust him, yet you think he is keeping secrets? Wouldn't that mean that he is not trustworthy?" Angeal asked, wondering if his lover wasn't being unreasonable in his approach to the youth. Zack shook his head.

"It's not like that. He just... gets quiet at odd moments in the conversation. He gets this look on his face like he's listening to something I can't hear. I can't explain it very well, but he feels not just powerful, but vulnerable. I want to protect him. Will you help him?" Zack looked around the room imploringly.

"You do realize that we can't watch him at all hours, right pup? Especially with a war on the horizon. There is no way-" Angeal was cut off by a curt statement.

"I will watch him," Sephiroth declared.

Everyone's neon eyes riveted to their General.

"H- How?" Zack asked hesitantly. The silver haired man tilted his head, long silver bangs obscuring his feline-like eyes.

"Oftentimes a good strategy for those wishing to hide is to do so in plain sight. There is a mentorship program still instated for those SOLDIERs who want to mentor, as put into place by Lazard. If a cadet shows potential or appears to be falling behind, that mentor can take the cadet under their wing. As you are well aware, Angeal," Sephiroth said lightly, raising his face to regard his friend. He and his lover appeared floored. The General never took anyone...

"You wish to mentor Cadet Strife? Wouldn't that be counterproductive? Hojo would most definitely hear of it." _And take interest,_ were the unspoken words hanging into the air. Sephiroth smiled slightly, bemusement in his eyes.

"All the more reason to do it. If Cloud has avoided detection this long, his acting must be more than adequate. Mentors and students are together nearly twenty four-seven. They live together, work as assistants if need be, train, and share meals. If the boy were snatched, I would be the first to notice. You have expressed desires to desert, Genesis. Would you actually do it with provocation?" The silver haired General asked.

"Of course."

"And you, Angeal?"

The older man paused, hesitant hazel eyes trailing to Zack's young face. The younger SOLDIER squeezed his hand reassuringly, wanting to know.

"If something threatened Zack, I would desert," He answered honestly. Sephiroth spread his hands, looking between all of them.

"ShinRa needs us to command their armies. If Cloud were put in danger, even after every precaution was taken, we could hold our positions as ransom. One cadet is not worth the crumbling of their entire military structure," Sephiroth reasoned. Genesis looked at Sephiroth interestedly.

"That is the second time you have called him by his first name. What does the cadet mean to you to take such risks? Shinra might not bite," The red head asked. Zack appeared interested, but Angeal felt he knew. However, he would not bring up the dream Sephiroth had shared with him if the other man didn't bring it up himself. The emerald eyed General paused.

"I cannot say, but I feel like he is worth the risk. Someone to rival me in strength is a feat that I want to experience for myself," He said, easily glossing over the real reason he wanted to get close to Cloud Strife. He couldn't understand it himself just yet, but Sephiroth wanted to know. Genesis snorted at the explanation.

"Vain as ever, Sephiroth. Is strength all that you can think of?" The auburn haired man chided, a little disdainfully. The General's mysterious small smile was all he got in answer. Zack paused.

"What if ShinRa really doesn't want to give Cloud up? Hojo has a lot of sway in the company, doesn't he?" He asked worryingly. Angeal slung one arm around him and smiled.

"We will deal with that obstacle if it arises, puppy. Do not fret," He told his smaller lover with a reassuring smile. Zack perked up.

"So, we're really doing this?!" He asked excitedly, eyes jerking to Sephiroth. The man nodded and the youth cheered, taking out his PHS to call Cloud before noticing the time with a grimace.

"Uh, wow. We won't get any sleep tonight, will we?" Zack asked sheepishly. Genesis shrugged.

"We have all gone without sleep for long durations before. We should spend this time planning how to approach this without garnering too much attention," Genesis said lightly.

Each man leaned forward, and they began, formulating a plan through the rest of the night.

* * *

><p>Two days later found Cloud in the mess hall, silently staring at his empty tray. Outwardly, he only appeared to be deep in thought, and that was half of the problem. The other was that he hadn't had a wink of sleep in over a week since he had snuck into the lab. He was still eating, but it was more of an automatic thing.<p>

The blonde's initial worry had been over his Commanders. He hadn't heard a thing, good or bad about Angeal and Genesis. It made him worry that something might have gone wrong with his plan to save them, but surely there would have been an announcement if something bad had happened to them? Then his mind would spin to perhaps ShinRa covering it up and he would fall into an endless cycle of worry in his mind.

And then his mind would travel to the encounter between the him and the General. He flushed, still unsure of what had come over him. Older Cloud had been right. That... call? It had been so much more powerful when the man himself was present. It had been irresistible, something that had gripped Cloud to the core. His mind and body had reacted on instinct. But he had been telling the truth when he had answered Sephiroth. His 'attention' had not been unwanted.

Cloud pulled his PHS out and pressed a few buttons, lingering on Zack's number. Could he call the other without a particular reason? He wanted to know if Angeal and Genesis were okay, but he didn't want to seem suspicious. It rang suddenly, causing the small blond to jump, and Zack's name scrolled across the display. Cloud quickly pressed the accept button.

"Zack?" He answered uncertainly. Had something really happened?

"Spiky! Long time, no speak. Can you do me a favor?" Came the cheerful voice of his friend and the blond felt relief wash over him. Surely if something had happened to their Commanders, he would be less happy?

"Of course," Cloud answered, wondering what this was about.

"Can you meet me in the main lobby?" Zack asked brightly. Cloud stood and disposed of his tray, careful to move slowly as if he were exhausted from the day.

"I'm on my way," He told the other as soon as he was clear of the mess hall. He could practically feel the other grinning on the end of the line. What had Zack so happy?

"Awesome! See you soon, Spiky!" The line clicked and Cloud hung up his PHS and pocketed it.

The long walk to the main building was marked only by his own steps, which he silently counted and measured. Not too fast, but not too slow. Had Zack talked to Sephiroth? Angeal and Genesis as well? Did they think of something to help him? He could feel Older Cloud and Other Zack in the back of his mind observing the situation. They hadn't said much, even after Cloud had kissed Sephiroth. In a way, he felt cast out into open air, freefalling with one hand reaching out for someone to capture him. He didn't know if this feeling was good or bad.

Cloud entered the lobby and immediately spotted Zack standing near the elevators with duffle bags by his feet. The 2nd Class smiled and waved him over, his enhanced senses picking up on Cloud's unique signature despite the helmet. The blond walked over and blinked, noticing the name on the duffle bags. Why did Zack have his belongings?

"Come on, cadet. Pick these up and follow me."

Noticing the change in protocol, Cloud snapped into a ridged salute.

"Sir!" He cried before bending over and picking up the two duffle bags. Following Zack into the elevator, Cloud noticed that they were going to the SOLDIER floor. His friend began to speak to him in quiet tones.

"I spoke to them all about you, Spiky. We are going to a meeting with Lazard. The Director has no idea that you're different so just act as you have been and it'll be okay," Zack said softly. Cloud moved his eyes to the dark haired teen.

"The helmet...?" He asked.

"Keep it on, it won't be questioned. Protocol after all. No worries," He returned.

They landed on the correct floor and the doors opened to admit them. They crossed the hallway and the glass doors slid open for them. A blond man with a warm expression greeted them and they both saluted.

"At ease, men. Zack, have you told him why he's here yet?" Lazard asked with a patient look. Zack grinned freely.

"I wanted you to be the one to tell him, Sir," The 2nd answered. The Director brightened and held out a hand to Cloud, who took it hesitantly. His hand was being shaken as the other looked at him brightly. What was happening?

"Cadet Strife, I am pleased to inform you that a SOLDIER has selected you for the mentorship program."

Cloud froze, his lips parting. Wasn't this exactly what he had wanted to avoid? Attention like this wouldn't be favorable at all. He would be found out for sure. Cloud clamped down on the panic that wanted to rise and he forced a smile.

"May I ask who...?" Cloud questioned, trailing off. Lazard's eyes sparkled.

"General Sephiroth has selected you. Considering your below average potential on the SOLDIER track, it is very good that he chose you. You will have a much bigger chance of success under his tutelage."

Cloud's mind had stopped at the name. General Sephiroth was going to mentor him? He forcibly yanked his thoughts away from their encounter and to what else Lazard had said. The man had looked at his records and he hadn't changed anything in his classes to avoid detection. They thought he was weak. Likely to fail. This was... good, right?

"The General? I am honored, Sir," Cloud said breathlessly. Dear Gaia, how was he going to handle this? Lazard nodded and picked up a small packet for the smaller blond to take. Keycards, Cloud noted, for an upper floor.

"You will be residing with Sephiroth from now on until he deems otherwise, cadet. He is in charge of your days, your schedule, and your duties. You are to report to him before all others. Work hard, cadet, and before you know it you will have your first infusion," Lazard nodded at the dazed cadet. He supposed he would feel the same if in that position.

"Sir!" Cloud cried with a salute and Lazard chuckled. The blond watched the other man behind his visor.

"Dismissed. The General cleared his evening for you so you can find him on that floor. Zack?" Lazard asked. The 2nd Class grinned and nodded.

"I will show him the way, no problem," He told the other man before motioning to Cloud to follow him. Cloud picked up his luggage, now understanding why he needed it, and followed Zack. When they were in the elevator once more, the other waited a few floors before he spoke. "Angeal and Genesis are waiting for us there, too."

A wash of relief went through Cloud, but he was still a bundle of confused nerves. Zack made a quiet noise, as if sensing this.

"Don't worry, Cloud. Sephiroth will take care of you. It'll be explained when we get there, so hold tight, okay?" The other youth told him. The blond nodded wordlessly. He didn't know which worried him more now. Living with Sephiroth or being caught by Hojo. They both sounded terrifying for very different reasons. Breathe, he told himself sternly.

The elevator door opened with a soft noise and they both stepped out. Cloud's glowing eyes took in the corridor underneath the helmet as he followed Zack. It looked like private quarters and with a soft breath, he realized there were only three doors. Zack heard this and smiled a bit nervously.

"I live up here with Angeal and you know he's my mentor, but I haven't told you yet..." Zack trailed off and Cloud glanced at him, curiously.

"What is it?" He asked, trying desperately to ignore the slight warmth spreading throughout his limbs. They were getting closer to Sephiroth. Cloud could feel him there...

"He and I are together. You know, _together_ together. He's my lover. You don't think that's bad, do you Cloud?"

The nervous laughter made sense now. Cloud stopped and turned towards Zack, whose bright blue eyes were half pleading with him.

"Zack," He murmured, "nothing could make me think ill of you." He got a sunny smile for his trouble and he was pulled into a hug.

"So, you aren't, you know, disgusted that I'm gay?" Zack asked, as if to make absolutely sure that he understood his smaller friend. Cloud began to fidget, feeling Sephiroth so keenly, the call humming very gently through his body.

"I couldn't... I'm having a bit of... I mean... I'm not sure..." he trailed off and Zack's eyes lit up with understanding.

"Oh! Well, you can talk to me if you need to, Cloud. If you're confused and need a shoulder," He smiled gently and the blond nodded before they began walking again. The call wasn't as strong as before, but it was persistent, and the cadet swallowed and steeled himself as they stopped in front of the door he could feel Sephiroth behind.

Zack swiped Cloud's keycard through to make sure it worked and sure enough, a green light signaled they did. Zack pushed open the door, and Cloud followed closely, the door clicking shut behind them.

The room was very militarian, everything a darker color where the walls were a pale grey. There was nothing very personal in the living room besides Masamune, which sat on a rack on the wall. Cloud noticed none of this, his eyes locked with smoldering catslit emerald greens.

Zack cleared his throat, the tension in the air felt by both he and the two Commanders, who were shooting questioning looks at the man who looked deceptively relaxed. Cloud, however, stood tense; fighting the urge to cross the distance separating them.

"Welcome, Cloud," The blond shuddered at the way that baritone voice purred his name, "we have been waiting to meet you."

"_Some_ more eagerly than others, apparently," Genesis murmured, but Cloud heard him and his body began to jerk into a salute when Zack placed a hand on his shoulder. Cloud yanked his eyes from Sephiroth to look at his friend questioningly. Zack smiled.

"No need for formalities, Spike. They know you aren't just a cadet. We're here to protect you so just be yourself," Zack said easily. Cloud nodded and took a step into the room, towards the three seated there. He reached up and loosened the helmet before his blond spikes bounced free of the confinement, blue eyes blazing neon in the dimmer light of the apartment.

Sephiroth's eyes darkened, intent on him and only him, and Cloud swallowed, forcing himself to look at all three of them in turn.

"Thank you for extending help. It took me a little but I figured out why you chose this particular plan over others," Cloud said lightly, having come to the conclusion on his way up, even past his nerves.

"Oh?" The General said, interested. Angeal and Genesis leaned forward; the atmosphere in the room was electrifying. Cloud nodded.

"It's a battle tactic. You wanted to make the first move, a reckless one at first glance, but by placing me in plain sight, one of two things could happen. One being that I would be noticed, but Hojo would be put in a position where he cannot act without repercussions. The latter is more unlikely to be the case, but still a possible scenario. This being that I will be taken at face value and not questioned," Cloud clarified in a soft tenor voice. Sephiroth's lips quirked.

"Very good, Cloud. That is exactly what I have done," He said lightly. The General stood and took a step forward and much to the surprise of the other SOLDIERs in the room, Cloud met him halfway, the smaller teen tilting his head back to keep their eyes locked.

"But in order for my continued cooperation, I need to know a few things," Sephiroth told him. They were nearly touching. Cloud nodded his agreement.

"What do you need to know?" He asked and he blinked when one of the General's hands took his chin into his grip, now keeping their gazes together by touch.

"Why did you come to me in a dream, Cloud?"

To be Continued…

Author's Notes: The pressure is on! Will Cloud tell Sephiroth what he needs to know? Please review!

Beta's Note: I know. Really. And I can confirm without much doubt, that she does it on purpose! She is evil. But, I can be patient, and if I can be patient, so can you... Hopefully.


End file.
